


Gate

by VaultedVendigo



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Battle Scenes, Bonding, Caleb having Hope for Once™, Canon Divergence, Caring team dynamic, Character Growth, Gen, M/M, Molly is garbage with emotions but trying, Mollymauk Tealeaf Lives, Mourning, character revival/resurrection, complete disregard for DnD spell rules, lots of sweet stuff too tbh, meddling teammates, oblivious idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-07-16 10:29:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 38,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16084262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaultedVendigo/pseuds/VaultedVendigo
Summary: To Caleb, the spell was straight forward."You conjure a portal linking an unoccupied space you can see within range to a precise location on a different plane of existence. You can orient the portal in any direction you choose....When you cast this spell, you can speak thename of a specific creature(a pseudonym, title, or nicknamedoesn't work). If that creature is on a plane other than the one you are on, the portal opens in the named creature's immediate vicinity and draws the creature through it to the nearest unoccupied space on your side of the portal.It might leave, attack you, orhelp you."Or, Caleb trying to find Mollymauk, and Mollymauk only.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Eyyyy, this is totally self indugent and yet somehow I don't care lmao. I'm sure I've got a massive amount about the spell/rules of it all wrong, but instead of worrying about that, let's focus on the good happy stuff yeah? I hope you enjoy

"Ja, so, uh....." The silence stretched on, crickets chirping around where Caleb had settled down to take watch. It was a soft hill, the tree next to him laden with some of his still damp clothes and the grass around him surrounded by various items. The humidity of the area was not lost on him, though it eased the anxiety of separating himself from his overly thick coat, since the heat would be unbearable. Being without it was still like an exposed wound in some senses, considering he had gotten perhaps too attached to the garment. 

He had found himself to be a creature of comforts, during short bursts of his life. 

How unfortunate that they always ended so soon. 

Looking back up at the stars, Caleb let his fingers continue to roll around the sizable diamond he was holding. He'd been saving up for it for months and months, after they had just gotten to the Menagerie Coast. 

After they had found Fjord, Yasha and Jester alive. 

After he had killed Lorenzo.

After they had discovered Caduceus, and-

After they had lost Molly. 

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Caleb's eyes squeezed closed before fluttering back open. Earlier that night, the Nein had insisted he bathe, seeing as they were next to a clean spring and his coat was starting to smell.... Well, by all means, unpleasant. 

At one point Frumpkin had sniffed it and retched (dramatically, if Caleb could add), and that alone got heat flowing up his neck and agreeing to drop the 'mere vagrant' look, if only while they were on the road with only each other and heading to the next city. 

He made Frumpkin bathe as well, and the sopping animal fled to hide with Nott halfway through a good scrubbing, who was hissing at them to remember all the times water had tried to kill them while cradling the poor cat.

By this point, his hair was long enough to tie back. It always had been, but it was no longer a tiny tuft that fell out of any binding, and now it benefited to do so. It helped keep the heat from sapping his energy impossibly faster as it stayed in a tight bun and away from his neck and shoulders, allowing the skin access to the lightest breeze. His undershirt stood alone against the battle to keep the outside world from touching him, as his coat was still drying and the contents of his pockets were spread out around him. 

Several quills he'd thought he'd lost, a few nearly empty bottles of ink. Items of all sorts and smells for different potions and spells, and, the new addition to his never ending pockets, an overtly large diamond. 

One that he still didn't know if he should tell the others about. 

Diamonds were useful. Diamonds could save and protect, something that they hadn't had back when it had _mattered_. They may not have had their cleric, but the loss of one of their own had forced them to all start focusing on healing potions and remedies in their own times. It was a burden that had to be learned the hard way, and would never be forgotten.

One that Caleb would never forget, and could not seem to let go worse than anyone. 

Time had done the others well, it seemed. It had done him well in some senses as well. Fjord's tusks were finally growing in, and Jester made sure to comment on them regularly to remind him that he was 'So ruggedly handsome!' It always received a small smile, but he looked like he was beginning to believe it. 

Beau was finally, _finally_ beginning to learn manners, and more than once had held a door open for a stranger and not scoffed when they didn't thank her. This was big for her; It was small steps. 

Nott was as close with him as ever, and insisted that he was getting more confident in himself, in the way that he acted. Instead of staying mostly quiet on his thoughts, he would let them be heard, and his magic was getting stronger. She was proud of him, and it showed. 

Caleb felt he was getting stronger as well. 

Looking down at the diamond in his hand, Caleb managed to swallow down a pitiful sound. There was something.... _waiting_.

For being a literal wizard, it was hard to conceptualize the idea of sheer magic in the world around him. Of an energy coming back that was so strong it was hard to avoid, such as the one he'd felt not even a week ago that read 'Stupid purple man' all over it.

Such as the one he'd felt leave the world after Lorenzo had sunk his blade into Mollymauk's chest.

He should be strong enough now. 

Breathing in deeply, Caleb tried to ignore how hard his heart was fluttering. Around him, the crickets had gone silent all at the same time, as if in suspense. The gentle breeze had stopped, and his hand tightened on the gem. 

_Concentrate._

"We have been waiting," He said quietly into the night, feeling the fresh bandages he'd used to cover his arms itch slightly. The words felt too intimate, but he couldn't seem to stop. " _I_ have been waiting. Yet you have not come back to us." Grip tightening on the stone, Caleb's head tipped forward. "You uh, had insisted many times that you were not the person that had once controlled your body. And this spell, it needs an exact name."

The stars dimmed, his eyelashes blocking them before he allowed his eyes to close again. "Mein Gott, this may be a total waste." If it was, then no one would be the wiser. The diamond would not be destroyed due to its caliber, and they could keep it for life-saving purposes or spell castings.

Everyone else was currently back at the camp they had set up, Caleb having asked them if he could go on watch and avoid setting up Leomund's Tiny Hut. He phrased it as instead opting to stay out in the stars; They were all understanding, though Caduceus gave him a look that made him think the firbolg may know too much at any given point, this one included. 

In the end, it may not even matter. 

Mollymauk Tealeaf had been a hell of a confusing person. He was loud, arrogant, a compulsive liar, generous, hilarious, sweet, caring. Every little bit of him felt contradictory, and yet somehow he had been such a piece of them for so long. 

At this point, they had been without him almost as long as they had been with him in the first place. Almost. A small part of Caleb's mind insisted that it may just be easier to move on. To let the idea and body of such an enigma rest in a grave that was now covered in flowers and hopefully still shrouded in a maroon jacket that was stitched with a thousand beliefs. 

A different small part offered up the memory of the lips on his forehead drawing him momentarily out of a darkened memory. Of flirting words and gripping hands making him feel grounded for the first time in a while. Of _wanting_. Of a glance of a man who wanted to taste life, and had found comfort in the people around him.

The rest of his mind gripped the diamond in his hand impossibly harder, thoughts finally centering on one spell that he had never quite gotten right. 

Mollymauk, when he had come clean to them about his past, had told them he'd risen from the dead once already. In fact, Caleb had realized after he'd told it, he had risen from the grave much like a person was born, and had found himself. 

_"Let me make this abundantly clear; My name is Molly. That person is_ dead _and_ not me. _It's just a person who had this body. They abandoned it. It's mine now."_

When Caleb had dared to ask Yasha more information on Molly's past, one one night with too much ale and his inhibitions lowered, he was surprised when she told him. She told him information of Lucien, of how it was a ritual that apparently ended him and had been the rise of Mollymauk. 

This information, the wizard had not stopped looking over in his mind and the books he had scrawled it in. 

Mollymauk had risen and made his own life, yes, and after dying yet again, it is possible that he would lose his memory again. That it would be a new rebirth and that ever stubborn spirit in him would come out full force and bring a new, confusing, tattooed scarred teifling into the fray of the world. 

But it was also possible that that ritual killed Lucien once and for all, and if he did rise again, it would be Mollymauk once more. 

"This cost me 5,000 gold that was meant for parchment and ink, I hope you know," Caleb whispered into the night before he felt what felt like a stab of energy through his palm. Looking down, the diamond he'd just mentioned was glowing a bright white, filling the small area he was in with a blinding light and drowning out the stars in its wake. 

The spell was called 'Gate'.

It had taken him a while to translate, but he had it written cleanly and previously in the breast pocket of his coat, now on the grass beside him. 

**"When you cast this spell, you can speak the name of a specific creature (a pseudonym, title, or nickname doesn't work). If that creature is on a plane other than the one you are on, the portal opens in the named creature's immediate vicinity and draws the creature through it to the nearest unoccupied space on your side of the portal.**

****

**It might leave, attack you, or help you."**

Looking at the ground not ten feet from him, he let the name fall from his mouth, breathless like a prayer in a foreign temple. 

"Mollymauk Tealeaf."

He did not want to call Lucien, or Nonagon. He did not want to call a purple tinted body with red eyes that was shrouded in confusion and probably gravedirt. He wanted to call the stupid, bright circus man that he had never stopped feeling the loss of. He wanted to bring back their compulsive liar, their (sometimes) brilliant fighter, he-

Caleb _wanted_.

The portal opened, and it felt as if time stood still. 

The spell lasted for as long as he could concentrate on it for. It was hard, to keep up such an intense level of focus, because he didn't know the boundaries of how far he could let his mind wander. That fear alone kept him in check, blue eyes bright and watering from the unbridled lighting and his heart racing too quickly to count its beat. 

Silence.

Not even the wind dared interrupt. 

The hand holding the diamond in a death grip started to shake, just barely, but as time went on it got worse. 

Two minutes. 

Three. 

He should have known. 

_It didn't work_.

The idea of shutting down the portal was similar in his mind to burying Molly again. Perhaps burying him once and for all; He had _felt_ Molly awaken, he _knew_ it on a level he could not possibly describe. They were too far from his grave for a casual check up, but if they were to visit and find it empty, he would not be surprised. Perhaps it was the ritual that led to Molly existing in the first place that held such deepset magic, perhaps he was finally strong enough to pick up on it. 

Or maybe, the body had awoken and Molly was still gone.

Looking at the portal, Caleb tipped his chin up a little straighter. "So," He said softly, the words sounding like an avalanche of noise in the quiet of the night, "This is it, Mr. Mollymauk."

Another minute. Another two. 

He had to let go. 

Swallowing thickly, he finally let his eyes close, fingers trying to uncurl from around the gemstone but still finding too much difficulty in the task. This was the best way he could think to summon Molly and _only_ Molly, not just resurrect perhaps his body, and it was a wakeup call that he had wanted to avoid like a plague. 

He had to let go.

It had been stupid, to hope he could bring back just the man he wanted and not all the other complications that it could possibly lead to. Who's to say he'd even actually risen once more? His instinct, his _hope_?

He had to let _go_.

"Why Mr. Caleb-" The voice itself was raspy, as if it had been under a long while of disuse, and Caleb's entire body jolted as he looked up.

Blue eyes settled on red, and he watched a sharp and weak smile curl up, ignoring the purple hand pulling a bright jacket further onto the hunched shoulders of the figure standing at the mouth of the portal he'd summoned. His hair was longer, as were his nails, and his teeth looked just a touch sharper than Caleb remembered. Yet as he stepped out, the diamond fell to the grass next to him, the wizard scrambling to stand as he tried to recognize what had happened while the portal closed behind his long fallen friend. 

It had worked.

Molly's smile seemed to grow, hand moving over his heart, the heart that had all but been shredded in his chest all those months back, and clicked his tongue. 

"Did you wait for me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Tada! Very short (compared to my usual shit) and a lot of fun to write. No clue if I'll ever make a second chapter, but hey, I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mollymauk wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Evidently I'm going to write more for this because my impulse control is garbage and I want to keep doing it so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I hope you guys enjoy!!

Molly abhorred the taste of gravedirt. 

It coated his tongue, suffocated him, made him scramble to find air like a man lost in an avalanche. His nails clawed at the damp soil around him with the fervor of a man buried alive, and for good reason:

He _was_ a man buried alive, technically. More an alive man who was currently buried, but an oxygen dizzy head wasn't going to worry about semantics. 

When his fingers finally met air, and his lungs managed to expel the soil and suck in a breath that was no longer stale and resting for months on end, the first sound he made was a painful sob. 

_Again?_

He was buried in a shallow grave compared to the first time. Not the respectable 6 foot deep, though a lot of things told him that wasn't out of a lack of the emotion. Maybe it was out of hope, that this would happen again. 

Mollymauk Tealeaf really needed to stop dying, was the main thing. 

Scraping packed soil away from his torso and waist, Molly looked around wildly. His grave had been coated with a mass amount of flowers, the bloom of which did not match the bite of cold that the air had to offer. Why were there flowers? A shaking hand reached out to touch one, surprised when the petals actually met his fingertips. Not a hallucination, then.

They held some sort of magic, though it was weak and non-threatening. 

He had died. 

And he was _back_. 

When he made an attempt to clear his throat, pain seared through it like a hot brand, earning a soft whine instead. The use of his vocal chords spurred more pain, which spurred more noises, until he was sobbing not out of shock, but out of some chest deep agony. He shouldn't speak.

His hand went to claw at the base of his throat when he tried and his attempt was thwarted again, this time with a memory. Even the feeling of his insides being carved away with a dull blade couldn't stop the surprise of remembering how he'd perished, when his hand brushed against the injury.

Lorenzo. 

_The Nein._

He very nearly gasped, but thought better of it. Instead, he struggled to get a hold of himself long enough to cease his pathetic sounds, shaking hands continuing to dig at the dirt encasing him below the surface of the earth. 

His fingernails were longer, looking closer to claws than usual. Did they continue to grow, after death? 

Bending his leg carefully, he was happy to find the cold ground crumbling instead of resisting his rise from too long of a rest. It was a bit like a faun learning to walk again; He went confidently to stand, before stumbling and falling almost immediately. A bone deep shiver rocketed through him as he finally registered his environment, breathing sharp and making a plume of opaque breath in front of him. On top of his grave were flowers and packed dirt, but everywhere else was covered with an inch or so of snow. 

Definitely magic flowers then. 

_Maybe Caleb?_

Molly allowed the thought for a whole two seconds before he shook his head, teeth chattering as he moved to sit up again. No, Caleb wouldn't waste materials for something like that, he was fairly practical. Not to mention he had never shown any savvy with spawning flora. Purple hands wrapped up to cover his arms, feeling his muscles ache as if he'd been doing strenuous exercise for however long he'd been dead instead of laying flat and still. 

_My body had to go through a lot of healing, I suppose._ A flash of red caught his eye, and Molly noticed a little corner of something flapping out from underneath the snow just beyond his grave, waving in the brisk breeze. 

One hand sunk through the fresh powder as he began to crawl carefully, reaching over to touch the mound that was currently shrouded in snow. When he touched solid material, his fingers tightened and ripped out, a flurry of red cloth and a thousand colorful threads making his heart race. His coat. 

_They left my jacket? I get the sentiment, but this thing deserves to be worn, damn it._ The material was stiff, coated in snow and obviously frozen. Still, lifting it and wiggling it, he could hear stuff shifting in the pockets. Perhaps he hadn't been dead long, if it hadn't been picked over or stolen by scavengers. A large stick was poked out of the ground at the head of his grave, and he had the feeling it was hung on that before, judging by where it was discarded. Who would do that? Jester, probably. 

Wait, that's right. 

Jester wasn't _there_ when he'd...... 

Did they ever get saved? Were Fjord, Jester and Yasha safe? Had anyone else died in the battle? There were no more obvious graves, and for that he felt a deep sense of relief, but the worry for his team felt like being blindsided. He'd crawled out of the grave, and unlike the first time, he had people to worry for. 

And worry did he ever. Frozen material was better than no material, and the next ten minutes were spent with him struggling just to get the hardened material onto his body. He needed to get moving, otherwise he'd freeze to death probably, and then spend some ungodly amount of time stuck under the snow before rising again. 

One shaking leg curled up, Molly tipping forward to put weight on it before the other shot out to try to catch himself. It was awkward, clumsy, embarrassing; All words he hated putting with his own name. Still, even as the sharp gusts threatened to knock him over, Molly managed to get his footing, reaching out to grab the large stick still sticking out as a marker for his grave. 

Hand gripping it, a few weak tugs sent it loose from the soil, and the tiefling felt pride in his new walking stick. Perhaps his friends thought of this as a possibility. 

Probably not. 

Leaning heavily on his new crutch, Molly reached up to scratch at his hair, watching more dirt fall loose. He'd kill for a hot bath at this point, though he was partially distracted from that thought at the feeling of how much longer his hair was then he last remembered it. 

Gods, did he love being able to remember. 

Another full body shiver, and red eyes began to scan for any form of civilization around him. A stray farmer, perhaps, or maybe a townscape far off in the distance. It would have been stupid of them to leave coin on him, but the chains and jewels on his horns could pay for momentary housing, or for food. 

Maybe he could score a bath, so he could earn money through performing. 

Off in the distance, too far to make out comfortably but close enough to be a blurred silhouette, Molly felt as if he could see a few buildings clustered together. It would be quite the walk, and if it was a town it would be tiny, but it was better than the frozen wasteland he was currently stuck in. It was also the opposite way of the mountains, which meant he may be able to escape the snowfall if he moved fast enough. 

The first step felt like a mile in and of itself, but he took it anyways. 

He had to find the Nein.

-

"Dear Gods above."

The inn went quiet, Molly wheezing and panting and looking around at the scattered patrons. The bartender was the one who spoke, pausing mid-cleaning of a stein while looking at Molly with wide eyes and no blood left in his face. The other man at the bar was a customer, asleep from either too much ale or too little entertainment, as the other two customers at random tables looked at the tiefling as well. 

Looking down at himself, Mollymauk didn't think he could blame them. 

He'd forgotten about the massive bloody hole ripped in his shirt, or the gravedirt all over him. Pair that with literal icicles forming on his clothing and a jacket shrouded in religious symbols and more blood, and he could understand the unease. 

The walking stick thunked loudly against the floor compared to Molly's shaking footfalls, a clawed hand meeting the bar and digging into the wood. Making the motion of a quill on paper, Molly nearly groaned when the bartender didn't move to get something for him to write on. 

The barkeep just looked terrified, and the shivering blood hunter just needed to bathe, for fucks sake. 

When he spoke, his voice came out as a garbled hiss, pain lacing up his throat and causing red eyes to narrow. " _Bed._ "

Nodding quickly and all together too long, the man scrambled to get a key. "It's a silver for a bed, or uh-" His Zemnian accent struck something in Molly's chest, though the twinge was right where the mass of scar tissue from Lorenzo's attack was and made him physically flinch. "Or two silver for a room with a bath."

Molly didn't care to speak more, a vein in his temple throbbing and his head pounding just from using his voice thus far. He'd need to practice more, because a life without speaking wasn't one he was willing to live long. His hands came up, prying off one of the dangling charms from his horn with numb fingers and dropping it to the counter with a clatter. 

The other patrons continued to watch, but Molly didn't care enough to look their direction. Instead, he stayed looking at the bartender, chest heaving and each breath giving a soft wheeze, hopefully looking crazed enough that he wouldn't be questioned on which he wanted. 

The bartender looked at the jewelry, back at Molly, back at the jewelry, and cleared his throat. "Right this way," He said shakily, dark hand reaching to snag up a key on a hook behind him. He was a smaller man, puttering ahead and going up a flight of stairs with too much ease for Molly not to hate him momentarily. Though, he was polite enough to wait as the tiefling struggled with each step, brown eyes mixed with concern and a bit of fear while his smile remained scared and polite. 

The room was nothing phenomenal, but it may as well have been the finest palace to have graced the planet in Molly's eyes. 

It had a wash room, it had a fire, and it had a bed. It was perfect.

The key was handed off and the door closed a little too quickly, but Molly was finally alone and out of the cold and that's all he really cared about. 

The next few hours were exhausting. 

First, he stumbled to the bathroom, shaking like a leaf in the wind. There, two medium sized tubs of water sat, each half full. Neither were heated, but hot water could hurt him right now from how chilled to the bone he was, so he emptied his pockets and dropped his jacket into one. Next were his pants, followed by his shirt, until he was naked and able to begin to shake the dirt from his hair. 

It coated the floor, but like Hells if he was going to clean it up. 

The second tub, he climbed into, the chilled water still feeling like molten metal on his skin and earning a pull of air through his teeth. 

There was a sliver of soap left from another patron, and Molly didn't leave the tub for an hour, getting the dirt from his nails, hair, ears. The water was almost opaque by the time he was done, but his skin was no longer ashy from the grime. 

There was a towel hung up, slightly stained, and he used this to scrub his hair dry and get rid of the last of the standing silt. 

Trailing into the bedchamber, he threw another few logs on the fire, tried not to get distracted by the call of warmth, and went back to the washroom.

The next half hour was spent scrubbing his clothing, this water also turning an awful shade of rusty brown from the mixture of filth and blood. When he wrung them out, he hung them to dry by the fire, finding it in his heart to be thankful that it had been started before he'd gotten here. 

He was clean, his clothing was clean, and that was a start. 

When he fell onto the bed, he barely had enough forethought to wrap himself halfway up in the duvet, curling on his side and falling asleep nigh instantly. 

-

When Molly woke up, he had no idea what time it was. The fire was out cold, meaning he had slept for a long while, but that was as far as he knew. 

He felt parched beyond all belief, swallowing his own spit getting to the point of pain, and his stomach cramped from the lack of food. It took a while to rally and get his body out of bed, but eventually he managed to get over to his clothes and touch them. They were completely dry, which got him thinking that maybe he had been asleep for a little _too_ long. 

Making it downstairs with his hole laden shirt and colorful pants, Molly tried not to look surprised at the sight of the morning light outside. The bartender, for his credit, looked less afraid of him this time. Weary, certainly, but less afraid. Walking to the counter, Molly opened his mouth and pointed to it as he sat down, another charm meeting the table with a lazy clatter after this. 

It got the message across, since less than ten minutes later he had beer, bread, and a quiet stomach. 

He left the next day, the snow finally having stopped and his lack of any proper form of travel driving him south to escape the frigid cold. 

The closest place to sleep was nearly a full days walk, and that thought alone had his body rebelling the mere idea. Shaking the residual exhaustion from his bones like a coal miner trying to dispel dust, the stick was once again in his hand, and his trek began. 

That tiredness didn't leave, for the next five days. It felt to be a part of him now, it was so deeply ingrained, but if he didn't move, he felt he'd go mad.

Information was scarce on the wearabouts of the Iron Shepards, from what Molly had been able to gather on the journey. He couldn't speak more than twenty words without feeling like he was being skewered again, so for once he let other people do most of the talking. It was dreadfully boring, that much was sure, but it was helpful. He knew he should head northwest from his current location, having backtracked from where they had last battled the Iron Shepards and having ended up closer to Bladegarden. 

He'd go south for now, earn coin to get a horse, and then aim for Shady Creek Run, like they had been.

While he didn't have anything in the way of actual money, he still had a few more trinkets on his person that he managed to trade off. One even got him passage on a cart, making it so far west as to avoid freezing to death and instead getting into a climate that could no longer immediately kill him. A few pockets may have also gotten picked along the way, but money was needed to live, and he planned on staying alive this time. 

Molly dismissed this with the idea that he would have earned it with his deck, but it seemed to be that his tarot cards were missing. 

He needed to find the Nein. He had no clue if Fjord, Jester and Yasha were okay, he had no clue if the rest of his crew was still alive. The thought that he could have been absent and caused one of their deaths got sleep to become scarce at night. It wasn't as if a lack of sleep was a suitable punishment for potentially letting someone in the Nein perish, but his mind refused to rest.

Hell, he'd even be upset about Beau dying, he felt so out of sorts. 

What had happened to him? Was this a curse, to fear like this for so many people? It had to be, since it was fucking awful.

By day six, he had camped outside for the first time in a long time. This in between area, close to Felderwin Village, wasn't quite as frozen as Bladegarden but not nearly was warm as Zadash had been last time they'd been there. He awoke shivering in the middle of the night, his jacket not being a sufficient blanket but all he had at the moment. He'd slept on the leaf thick floor of a forest, the fire he'd managed to make dwindled after a mere half hour.

It was times like this he realized exactly how much he hated being alone. 

All his time of being alive, and he'd never faced loneliness outside of when he crawled from a grave. It took everything in his power to stave off the feeling of helplessness it brought, instead focusing on his goal ahead. 

Get coin. Go North. That much, he could do.

Halfway through lacing up one boot, which he was putting on to try to keep his toes from freezing off, and he heard what sounded like a loud 'whoosh' in front of him. On instinct, Molly reached for a scimitar he no longer had, head snapping up to look at what could have caused it. Not wind, not something running past, but it looked like..... 

Like a hole, ripped in reality. 

It was as tall as he was, round and black as a moonless night, and it was cutting a gap in the world in front of him. 

Was he awake, or asleep? This had to be a dream.

"That's.... New," He said, strained voice still coming out as a rumbling sort of growl as he stood to observe it. For a reason he didn't know, he felt like he could trust it, but it was rare that his impulses led to good outcomes. In it's own silent way, it felt like it was calling for him, summoning him to step through and meet his fate. Instead of giving into that impulse, he lifted a hand to hover above the rip in the earth, fingers not going through but feeling a warm breeze greet his hand. 

Warmth, without a fire. he'd forgotten there were places outside of the frozen hellhole of Bladegarden or chilly Felderwin that were like that. 

From the other side, he felt some sort of pull, one that sat heavy at the base of his spine and made his very soul feel uncomfortable. It could be magic, but if it was, it was stronger than most he felt. 

Two minutes passed.

Then three. 

Molly spent this time just staring at the odd portal, wondering why the hell it was spawned near him. No one knew he was alive, that much he could pretty much guarantee, so the idea that it had been summoned _for him_ was ridiculous. Perhaps this was the afterlife being presented in the weirdest way possible, the Moonweaver just taking time to get things in order before he was shipped away into eternity. 

Crouching down, he continued to look at it, lacing up his boots much more sloppily now that his attention was grabbed by the odd situation. 

The portal didn't go away. 

Another minute. 

Another two. 

What were the positives of going through this? What were the negatives? What could happen to him on the other side? Who had summoned this portal? 

Something akin to a flame the size of a candles lit in his chest, his hand reaching back to his bed to snag his jacket. Could Caleb have summoned something like this? 

_He doesn't know I'm alive, there's no way,_ Molly's mind insisted, but he couldn't help but let his curiosity take the reigns the way that it always had. There was only one wizard he knew that would have the dedication, and that was Caleb.

That pull deep inside his body intensified a little, as if he were being goaded through it by someone's sheer force of will.

Well. No one ever had any fun by erring on the side of caution. 

_What could the positives be?_

Putting his jacket over his shoulders loosely after scooping it up from the ground, Molly steeled himself, a foot going through the inky blackness and feeling the air through his boot change to sticky and warm. 

_What about the negatives?_

"What's the worst that could happen?" He whispered to himself with conviction, shot vocal chords only resting as he was practically pulled the rest of the way through by the void itself.

The first thing he heard were crickets. 

Eyes coming into focus, Molly blinked once, head feeling a mite light from the odd form of magical travel but no longer having anything to lean on. Well, he wasn't dead again, so that was a start. The darkened forest he'd been squirreled away in was dashed, replaced with humid air and fireflies lazily drifting over the vivid grass of a slightly hilly field that stretched on for miles.

In front of him, with a hand white knuckling around something glowing and looking absolutely heart broken and deep in concentration, was a very familiar wizard. 

_I fucking knew it_.

"Why Mr. Caleb," Molly spoke, adjusting the jacket on his shoulders and watching as Caleb's head shot up to look at him. His face was clean (that was new), hair long and pulled back and blue eyes looking bloodshot. Had he been crying? Caleb pushed to stand, surrounded by little knick knacks and looking....

Well, he looked rather dashing after a good scrubbing.

Mollymauk put a hand over his heart for affect, but could feel it pumping double time through the scarred skin.

That whooshing noise sounded behind him again, but this time he knew it was because Caleb's hand loosened from around whatever he was holding, Molly watching a shiny gem fall from his fingers and into the grass. 

A spell that required concentration. Of course that would be the spell that Molly would spend nearly ten minutes staring at and not going into.

"Did you wait for me?" He teased with a raspy voice, trying to make a joke of his own cowardice upon seeing the portal. Caleb just looked shaken. 

"Mollymauk." The breathless accented voice got something unfurling in Molly's chest, and he wasn't sure how he had come to rely on these people so much. If Caleb was here, so was the rest of the Nein, and if they weren't, then they would find them. 

He had someone with him again. 

No more being alone. 

"The one and only," Molly responded arrogantly, though his smile only grew as he continued with a croaking voice, "I'm glad to see you haven't forgotten. My dirt nap wasn't too long if you haven't yet." Judging by the length of Caleb's hair though, it hadn't been short. 

" _Mollymauk_ ," Caleb repeated again, still breathless and somehow going more and more wide eyed. "Scheiße, you're-" Caleb almost vibrated with suppressed actions before the wizard all but sprinted over, nearly bowling Molly over as he collided with him in a hug. 

"Holy M-" The words died in his throat as Molly had to work to keep them both from collapsing, leg shifting behind himself to stabilize them as his arms wrapped around Caleb solidly. 

Solidly. Caleb was definitely in his arms. 

Caleb was here. 

He was here. 

The jacket slid from his shoulders from all the commotion, and he couldn't really care. "I love the theatrics, but one of us is still very weak and something about the strength of that spell is making me think it's no longer you." By the end of the statement, Molly could feel his throat and chest beginning to tighten up and ache again, but his arms pulled Caleb impossibly closer. Gods, had he missed making fun of him.

He missed having an actual reason to speak; shit talking. 

"You sound like garbage," Caleb said in return, though there was a happiness to his voice that made it less biting than it should have been. "It took dying to get you to stop talking for once, and even now you're right back to it." 

"This is coming from someone who was just crying over me," He barely managed to get out, the strain worsening. Yet, tisking his tongue, Molly's grin grew impossibly wider. Caleb smelled like actual soap for once, and he seemed to have bulked up in their time apart. Maybe he'd actually been eating right, for a change. "I had to die for you to start bathing, huh?" 

"Mein Gott, I don't know why I bothered to bring you back," Caleb groaned, though there was no fire to his words. When he pulled back, Molly tried not to get distracted, and of course failed this. He knew his attention span shifted as often as the tides, and usually he made peace with that. Right now, though, there was too much to take in; the warm field around them, the far off sounds of a camp (Theirs?), the fact that he'd just been summoned through a portal, and-

Caleb. Caleb was a large distraction. 

"What is a good group without their fool?" Molly got out, the last word clicking with audible pain before he winced from it. Noticing this, Caleb's expression flicked from amusement to concern on a copper. 

"Are you still hurt?" He asked, but before Molly could talk his eyes closed and he shook his head. "You ah, died, so ja, you're probably still not in tip top shape. We should get you to Jester, ja?" 

Hearing this, Molly started almost violently. Red eyes widened, and it was then that Caleb looked up at him and seemed to realize. "Jes-?" Molly tried to get out, but Caleb put his hand up. 

"No more speaking, but yes, we have Jester. And Fjord," He tacked on, thinking on it. Molly's expression turned from surprise to deep anxiety, and Caleb scrambled to add, "Yasha is out momentarily, exploring beyond the Menagerie Coast. Alive and well." 

This news sent Molly going slightly boneless, sinking back a step and returning his hand over his heart. For once, his commentary was genuinely unavailable, but if it had been open Caleb would be catching an earful for putting his dearest friend as a footnote. 

Seeming to sense this, The wizard reached down, scooping up Molly's jacket for him. "Come, we should tell uh... Well, everyone." The very idea got him staring blankly down at Molly's jacket for a moment, before a rebandaged hand slid over the material familiarly. 

His thumb brushed the moon symbol on it, if Molly weren't mistaken almost reverently, but he quickly came back to himself. "Come," He repeated, offering an arm when he saw Molly still looking a touch unsteady. 

The tiefling took it, purple arm looping loosely through Caleb's before beginning the short walk to the camp ahead. The Mighty Nein had lived just fine without him, so that anxiety could rest. 

Now he could get back to making sure they removed the sticks from their asses, if that was still an issue. 

Leaning on Caleb more than he needed to, Molly tried to ignore how strongly relief swept through him. It would have knocked him on his feet, if he didn't have the uncharacteristically clean wizard keeping him steady. 

He'd lived. 

And he'd come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Dare I add more? Who knows. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly is welcomed home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Wow so I'm still going on with this lmao. This chapter focuses on the Nein as a whole more, but that's because I plan on getting more in depth with interpersonal shit next (if/when it continues) lol

"Caduceus!" Jester called his name from across the camp, Nott following behind her as they approached the cleric. The two of them had been working on fixing a few of Nott's crossbow bolts, and the second that Jester had noticed what the firbolg had been up to, had gotten distracted. He did too much fun stuff for it not to be weird, and she always wanted to know. "What are you doing?" 

"Preparing tea," He said as if it were obvious, tone and cadence as kind as always. When Jester looked down, her head tipped to the side, counting the mix-matched tea cups and mugs they had gathered along the journey. 

.....5,6......7?

"You're making too many, you know," She responded, though her expression didn't smooth with her offering of this fact. He could count (She was pretty sure at least), and he had to go through effort to find their cups in their cart.

Especially a spare.

Nott shrugged from next to her, flopping down to sit next to the fire where the water was currently warming up. "Maybe he's thirsty?" The goblin offered in way of explanation, seemingly unbothered by the miscount. 

Their group was, for a lack of better phrasing, fucking weird. Too much tea was not the weirdest thing they'd done that past _hour_ , let alone the weirdest thing Cad did on a daily basis.

"Would you like me to bring Caleb his?" Nott offered after a moment, perking up at the chance to check up on him. He'd been acting strange for the last few days; While he tried to pretend it weren't the most obvious thing on the planet, everyone else had picked up on it, Nott especially. Every time she asked, he claimed he was just thinking. It would be good, to get him alone and let him work it out. He never opened up in front of the group, and that's all she'd really chalked it up to.

He had gotten so much stronger with the passage of time, it was surprising to see vulnerabilities like this be so stark after so long of being dormant.

"Oh, I don't think we have to worry about that," Caduceus said, doing that creepy thing of smiling like he had too much information. He _did_ usually have too much information, but it was never so brazenly offered up outside of a battle. "We're expecting company, and I think our friend will be joining us for a drink."

Eyebrows raising, Jester's head tipped to the side. "We're expecting company?" She parroted, looking over at Nott. Nott looked as surprised at the statement as she did, both turning to look back at him now in further confusion. "Caduceuuuuuuus, are you doing that predict-y, I-know-stuff-and-love-to-be-a-mystery-oh-my-gosh thingy?" Jester drawled, mouth curling up in the corners at the hint of her fellow healers mischief. 

When he responded with a soft grin, her own widened. "I knew it! Was there someone on the road? Do you hear them coming now? Are they actually a friend or are we gonna have to like, shoot at them and stuff once they get here?" Gasping, she wiggled her shoulders, "Will _they_ become the tea?" Finally sitting down next to him, Jester watched as Caduceus reached for the pouch on his hip, pulling it off of his person and beginning to root through it. 

Pulling out a handful of dried petals, Nott's nose scrunched. "Ah, so we _are_ getting the dead people tea then," She said with disdain, and perhaps a bit of morbid curiosity. "Who's that? Some high elf from Kamordah? Was it from that hand you disintegrated in the sewers? I like to know the people I'm drinking; it's really a traditionalist belief." As per usual, she would refuse to even get near it, so this was all smartassery to the highest degree.

Looking over at her, pink hair was tucked behind his ear with one hand, the other sprinkling a measured amount into each cup, Caduceus nodded. "You do know this person," He said, tone light as the breeze around him. The flowers, even dried out, were a menagerie of colors and smells, catching both Jester and Nott's noses easily. "He's always been a Tealeaf, figuratively and now literally. Mollymauk, I believe?" 

The camp fell silent without the three of them talking, Fjord and Beau both asleep with Caduceus not even looking up from his task as both the girls fell silent. 

A few moments passed before Jester made a soft sound, clearing her throat uncomfortably. "I- Caduceus, I don't think I-" Going quiet, she tried to open her mouth again, but each passing second brought more and more sadness to her face. Nott reached over and grabbed her hand, looking at the firbolg. 

"We aren't drinking that," Nott decided with perhaps too sharp of an edge in her tone, seeing as it earned pause from the teamaker. Looking up at her, he noticed her pinched expression. A glance to the side, and he noticed Jester's pained one. 

"Why wouldn't we?" He asked, that gentle smile that was always in place not seeming to move even with the thick tension. Leaning over, he picked up the ladle that was hung next to the fire, dipping it into the near boiling water. Pulling it out, some dripped onto the packed ground around the campfire before he poured it slowly into just one cup, the only remaining unchipped tea cup of their collection. The ladle was hung back up, and Caduceus looked between the two of them with lazy curiosity. 

"Why _wouldn't_ we?" Nott all but hissed out incredulously, expression going from 'slightly annoyed' to 'ready for blood' as Jester gripped her hand tighter. 

None of them had quite moved on as much as they'd wanted. 

Molly, for all of his weird quirks and scam artist ways, had been some of the first moral influence in Nott's life. She appreciated him, found humor in his actions, and well. She wasn't _blind_. 

She knew how he had felt for Caleb, and how much it has positively impacted her best friend.

Jester had lost the only other person that could speak her mother tongue, the other mischievous tiefling who loved to help people and enjoyed causing delightful havoc wherever they went. The amount of times the two of them danced to an uptune song in an inn and dazzled the crowd was astounding, truly.

If she hadn't gotten kidnapped, she may have been able to save him. 

That thought was one Nott knew she had, and one that she still lived with deep in her stomach. 

"That is what I said," He said with a nod, smile growing minutely and making Nott sit up straighter, "If you won't, I mean.... He will." Caduceus gave a nod of his head, the action motioning to the opposite end of their camp as he picked up the fresh tea cup carefully. 

Nott's anger got her continuing to stare at him spitefully without looking back, shifting herself a touch in front of Jester while the tiefling turned to look behind them. 

When she gasped, Nott perked up. 

"Mollymauk!" 

It was at times like this, when her hand was nearly crushed to a pulp and she was physically ripped to stand, that Nott remembered how ridiculously _strong_ their healer was. 

The smiling Caduceus, with a tea cup lofted just under his nose as he waited for it to steep, was pulled from her view as she was dragged all too quickly across the camp. 

When Nott's hand was finally let go, she barely caught her footing and stumbled forward a foot or so, looking up to see Jester pouncing on-

"Molly! Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods," She said on in a rush, a flurry of blue and purple sending the goblin reeling. Her head whipped back to look at Caduceus, who merely raised his teacup in a silent toast before going back to sniffing it. 

Why did they all have to be so fucking _weird_?

The sheer amount of sound Jester was making got Fjord stumbling from one of the tents, obviously half awake and holding a small dagger from his belt. Thankfully he hadn't summoned his whole falchion, but this look didn't cut an intimidating figure.

His tension dropped the second he caught sight of Jester nearly lifting Mollymauk Tealeaf off of the ground, her speaking rapid fire in Infernal and grinning like a madwoman while Molly grinned back. 

Blinking once, then several times, Fjord looked at Nott, who looked just as floored as he felt. The goblin shrugged, but the giddy energy the pair of tieflings was giving off was starting to become contagious and she offered her own wobbly smile. 

When his feet met the ground, Molly had to steady himself on his blue companion. Opening his mouth to speak, Caleb reached a hand out, covering his mouth with a dull 'fwap' and earning a sideways glare from red eyes. 

The crickets continued singing as they all fell silent, before the wizard cleared his throat. "He uh, well he's still a little injured, so no speaking, and I know everyone will have many questions but he needs healing," He announced to the group, looking between Nott, Jester and the now very awake Fjord. Gaze turning back to Jester, he asked, "Can you....?"

" _Can I_?" She asked, lighting up like a sunrise as she waved her hands. "Oh, Caleb!" Bounding forward yet again, this time she hugged the wizard, his back cracking from the sheer force of it as she wiggled him back and forth minutely. "You found him! You brought him back!" 

He was released after a moment, but it was then that everyone seemed to move. Fjord began to trail forward like a moth to a flame, obviously still in disbelief, as Nott scurried over and approached their previously fallen friend. 

When she reached him, she lifted her arms up, waving them to catch Molly's attention. He was looking at Jester and Caleb with a bone deep fondness, the two chattering quietly, and she would absolutely be making fun of him for that later. But for now, she grabbed his (fairly ruined) shirt, yanking on it hard and earning his gaze flitting back to her. When she finally had his attention, she had to ask, "Could you... stop dying? For like, a few years at a time?" The grin he gave was brilliant in response. 

Leaning down, he wrapped his arms around her snuggly and without warning, the goblin feeling her throat tighten up. "I mean seriously, we love all the crazy demon speak and stuff, but at least refrain from the self sacrifice for a while! You made us _watch_ that? And you didn't have to sit through his shitty commentary afterwards! Holy _fuck_ , we had to listen to that while-"

"I missed you too," Molly croaked out, the sound almost lost from being covered with Nott's voice. Finally going quiet and ignoring the fact that she was shaking, Nott just hugged him back, arms looped around his neck in a small vice. 

Footfalls caused them to finally pull away from one another after a few moments, Fjord approaching. When Mollymauk released Nott and finally stood, two arms went out in a grand gesture, Molly's grin back in place. "Hey, roomie," He managed, only for Fjord to tangle a hand in his shirt and rip him forward into a hug as well. The last Molly had seen of him, he was being carted off with their other two friends, and for most of the time he'd been alive (again) he was worried they were still captured. 

Considering the deathgrip of a hug he was currently in, this was not the case. 

"About time you came back," Fjord said thickly, tone almost watery as Molly patted his back a few times. To think that this was one of the few people that had to find out about his 'death' after the fact got purple arms hugging tighter, the way they had with Jester, in almost a silent apology. "I know you can't speak much or Caleb may kill you, but I'm glad you're here." 

Over the many times they had acted as roommates on their travels, both had learned quite a lot about each other. Considering Mollymauk's penchant for avoiding the truth, Fjord knew to take that with a grain of salt, but that didn't mean he hadn't lost a good friend in the end of it all. 

He was so tired, of losing friends. 

"Glad I'm back," Molly promised, though Fjord could feel the tension build in his friend from the few words. Pulling back, Molly's expression was pained, and the half-orc patted his arm. 

"Let's get you patched up. Considerin' how we lost you, I can't imagine your lungs and throat are delighted to be up and runnin'," Fjord excused, looking over at Jester and catching her eye. When she came over, her smile was brilliant, hands both rubbing together.

Everyone was still in suspended disbelief, but like hell if they would look a gift-horse in the mouth at this situation.

"Alright, let me get you all fixed up!" She said, reaching out to begin to lead him next to the fire once more. 

It was when Molly was sat down near the flames that Jester noticed all 7 teacups had been filled with water, the tea itself looking to be a nice shade of lilac. Caduceus looked up at Molly and gave a sagely nod, earning a glance back at Jester from the purple tiefling. "Oh!" She said as if just remembering, ushering to Caduceus to come over. "Molly, we forgot! We have another healer! Isn't that amazing? This way, if something happens, we have _double_ helping hands," She said with a delighted expression, before something flashed over it for a moment. Molly opened his mouth to comment, but the expression was gone when she saw him move to speak, and Jester was shaking her head to dispel it. "Anyways, this is Caduceus!"

"Caduceus Clay," The firbolg greeted, extending a hand. Molly reached to shake it, and while he did so Caduceus's other lifted up a mug of hot tea in offering. "Would you like some tea?" 

"'Dueces, we need to help him get patched up. He can't speak! Or, he can, but it hurts really really _really_ bad," She said, batting away the offered cup of tea. It was lowered and set down, Caduceus falling quiet in response and tipping his head down. Turning back to Molly, she stage whispered, "That tea is grown from your dead body too, so I don't know if you want it."

Molly _absolutely_ wanted it, but he was distracted by the feeling of something warming in his chest and hands. 

The stranger of the group, Caduceus, had his head bowed and seemed to be speaking under his breath. Noticing this, Jester smiled, her own fingers wiggling. "He is doing a big spell that takes a while but will heal you, but I'll do a fast one! It's in here, yeah?" She asked, tapping over where the large scar sat in the center of Molly's chest. When he nodded, she tried not to stare at it, instead looking back up at him and giving a thumbs up. 

Hands reaching out, she set them both on the bundle of scar tissue, relief hitting Mollymauk like a tidal wave the second she began to heal him. 

The unfortunate thing about being half dead for a full week, and fully dead for gods know how long before that, was that Molly had forgotten what it had felt like to be _healthy_. "Holy shit," He let out in a gust, voice no longer sounding garbled and instead sounding as thankful as he felt. That overwhelming pain and tightness that had been sitting in the center of his body was dispersing, and Jester seemed to perk up at that prospect. 

"Better?" She asked after the spell was finished, hands pulling away and resting on her lap as she looked at her friend. 

"A million times so," He promised, his own hand lifting to cover it. His destroyed shirt allowed easy access, but the dribble of energy in the air around him was slowly filling him up from top to bottom. A glance over, and he could feel it emitting off of the increasingly odd firbolg, pink hair covering most of his face as his head was ducked. Motioning a thumb at him, Molly just offered Jester a questioning look. 

"Like I said, that's Caduceus! They found him in a cemetery, and he makes tea out of dead people, and oh! He send beetles after people when we are fighting, and can make himself look different like Fjord, me, Nott and Caleb can! And he's suuuuper old, but not apparently for firbolgs or something, and we found him-" Stopping for a second, she cleared her throat, seeming to try to soldier on with a smile, "We found him not long after we lost you! I wasn't there, but apparently he helped save us, and kept everyone safe while fighting Lorenzo." After she finished the statement, she had to look away from Molly, and he didn't really blame her.

The name Lorenzo felt like a shot to the head (or a stab to the heart), but Molly elected to ignore that. Instead, he saw how Jester was trying her hardest to play off what she was feeling, but her continued smile no longer looked real. Reaching out, he took Jester's hand, which seemed to be both the right and wrong thing to do; Her crafted smile faltered, the firelight highlighting the tears welled up in her eyes before her free hand came up to rub at them. "Jester-" Molly started, but she tried to wave him off. 

"No, it's nothing, it's nothing! I just-" Giving a shaky inhale, the crack in her demeanor began to fissure further, her bottom lip wavering while she truly tried to shove the tears away. "He's amazing! He's so so good at healing, and he kept them safe. It was- He-" 

"Do not finish that thought, Jester Lavorre," A voice said from behind, Nott coming over and sitting down next to her friend. Jester's tail shifted and wrapped snuggly around the goblin's waist, as if to ground herself, before Nott's tone became chiding. "He was there that one time, but you have saved us a thousand other times! Remember the manticore? Or the gnolls? Or the _fish people_?" 

"I know!" She tried to insist, but the way she was gripping Molly's hand made the others much less convinced. "I know, but-"

"Jester." She looked up at Molly when he spoke, and he reached up to brush away the liquid beginning to slide down her cheek. "I wasn't careful. I knew you weren't there, and I-" A deep inhale, and Molly actively avoided thinking of his final moments, of his final decisions. "I made a choice. And it was wrong." 

"But-" She started, but he immediately shushed her. 

"No. When I woke up, all that mattered to me was finding the Nein, and making sure we could go save you, Fjord and Yasha. Nothing more. Now that both are done, we don't need to look back, do we?" Giving her hand a little squeeze, he offered a smile, the peacock feather tattoo next to his eye scrunching. "Right?" 

Giving a small sniffle, Jester nodded. "Right." Making eye contact again, her next smile was more genuine. "We're together again. That's what matters."

"See, I knew there was that optimism buried somewhere in there," He chuckled, grateful to hear his own voice sounding less like a dying mans and enjoying the lack of pain. Looking at Nott, he clicked his tongue. "I thought you would make sure she's been having _fun_."

"I have been!" Nott squawked indignantly, reaching out to bat at Molly, "We usually have a grand old time when people aren't coming back from the _dead_ and reminding us of sad times." 

"Have to be reminded of the sad before we can move on with the happy," Molly defended with no real conviction in his words. Finally glancing sideways again, he reached with his tear stained fingers and scooped up a cup, looking at the now deep purple water in fascination. "Did you say this was made out of _me_?" 

"Yes!" Seeming eager to move past the moment of sadness, Jester began to explain how Caduceus made tea from dead people, and by the time she was finished, Molly felt better energized and rested than he had in a while. 

It was then that he realized Caduceus must be done with his spell, considering he was now being stared at. Looking over, the firbolg nodded towards the cup, then looked back up at Molly with a casually amused expression. "I hope you enjoy," He said with a deep set sincerity, and from everything he'd heard, Molly decided that he may no longer be the oddest one of the group anymore. 

Some things were always changing, weren't they? 

-

The tea had been delicious. 

Floral, smokey, with a hint of moonshine and a resonating hunger left behind. Everyone else said it tasted like, well, tea, but Molly was sure there was more to it than just that. 

When he looked at Caduceus for confirmation that he wasn't crazy, he received a larger than usual smile that sent him slightly on edge. 

A cool, and very weird, new friend indeed. 

Caleb and Fjord joined them before too long, and no other tea was drank, only sipped, outside of Mollymauk's and Caduceus's. The rest were dumped out, Nott retelling the tale of the drink they'd poured out for Molly when he'd died, and it was..... Oddly amusing. Like speaking of a fairytale instead of an event that had obviously changed the people in the group deeply. 

Jester's hair was longer, her horns having grown just a bit. Fjord had tusks, which made him look a little more intimidating, and seemed to have gained some muscle mass. Knott was wearing these horrible human hand looking gloves, and her mask seemed to be in fresh repair, and Caleb had more stubble and a softer smile than before. 

So many changes, and to Molly it had felt like a mere week ago that he'd seen them. 

Eventually, the question came out before he could stop it. "How long?" He asked after they all finished recanting a tale of stealing a pirate ship, and it turned the air thick with tension on a copper. Noticing this, Molly rolled his eyes, aiming to play it off. "Oh, so we can make fun of me dying sometimes, but the real questions are the hard ones?" 

This seemed to snap Caleb out the awkward silence, being the first to respond and earning looks from the rest of the group as he did so. "Four moons," He said, giving a sharp nod as he broke eye contact. The news shouldn't have been startling, but it still made Molly's stomach lurch, his gaze flicking between all of his friends. 

"Four _moons_?" He repeated, sputtering as he tried to find the right words, "Four?! I traveled with this group for five!" 

"Time never ceases," The wizard said in way of an answer, and Molly rubbed a hand over his eyes. 

Four moon cycles. 

_Four._

"Four. I've been......" By this point, the sky was starting to get lighter in small increments, and the air around them having slightly more of a chill. Jester, Nott, Fjord and Caduceus all seemed to be quietly watching as Caleb broke the news, Molly looking unhappy with the answer. "Four."

"Yes," Caleb said, watching the tiefling with a guarded expression. 

That placed Caduceus as having been traveling with the Nein for almost as long as he had before he'd met his demise. In his return, he'd felt as if he still had some higher standing in a weird way, felt like he knew these people better, but the news that it was almost equal was an odd blow to take. 

Time never ceased, that much was sure, but the knowledge that he'd been a part of the Nein for only half of their travels left a pain returning in his chest. 

How had Caleb remained dedicated to bringing him back?

Giving a laugh that was equal parts amusement and shock, Molly started, "I don't get why you hadn't given up y-"

" _Nein_." Caleb barked the word out with enough force that Nott and Fjord jumped, eyes flickering to him. His expression had become pinched, not continuing until Mollymauk looked back up at him. "No moons, four moons, a hundred moons. It was never a question of 'if', it was a question of 'when'. Do not mistake that."

The conviction with which he said it earned a wine colored flush to lavender skin, Molly having to look away as he shook his head again. _Don't say something stupid,_ he reminded himself. "You always did know how to make me feel special," He said with a soft huff. _Like that. That was stupid._

At least it earned a horribly bright red flooding into the skin high up on Caleb's cheeks, the sight earning a snort from Jester. "It's been so long since we've seen that!" She squealed, motioning to Caleb and getting him to look up at the sky instead of at her as the color worsened. Turning back to Molly, she began to say, "You know, after you were gone, Caleb stopped-"

"Why the _fuck_ is everyone being so loud?" A tired voice asked from the opening of another tent, an exhausted figure with messy hair and a mad expression slumping out. All heads turned to look at Beauregard as she joined them, the few first rays of the morning just peaking over the horizon behind her. 

When she looked over at them, her gaze flicked around before landing solidly on Molly. 

The two stared at each other, everyone waiting for a reaction with baited breath, before she took a deep breath. 

"I'll deal with this later," She decided, turning and going back in her tent with much more haste than she'd come out of it. Molly, in turn, shrugged at the reaction, though he did at least have the grace to look amused. 

"Better than I was expecting," He admitted, leaning back a little and crossing one leg over the other. "So. Did anyone keep my clothing, or do we need to stop by a town?" 

"So you're set on joining us?" Fjord double checked, only to get Molly scoffing at the obvious statement while the strain of the previous conversation dispersed. 

"Why wouldn't I?" He questioned, looking between them all and then back at Caleb. Giving a wink to the man, his sharp toothed grin was highlighted by the rising sun. "Or are we not the Mighty Nein?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((I imagined Molly at being at like, 8 HP the entire time he was on his way to meeting up with the Nein lol. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Ey, it lives! Small fun chapter, but I have a whole other chapter already written that I look forward to polishing up too! Hope you enjoy ^^

"Gods! Molly, don't-"

"Don't what, defend myself?" 

Molly was currently struggling to get out of the headlock he was in, finding it in his heart to be thankful that he'd sold the jewelry off of his horns so it wasn't a jingling battle. Above him, Beau's arm tightened, the visual threatening and earning another annoyed call from Fjord. Molly, however, could feel that he was not even close to getting choked; It was a visual farce, and it was then that he realized this may be how Beau could keep her reputation while also aiming to say........

Something. It wasn't really clear. 

Letting his nails cease their digging into Beau's arm, his voice was theatrically strained, "Hell of a greeting. We travel for half the day in silence and then this?" 

"I was deciding if I still wanted to beat the shit out of you for being so _stupid_ ," She said with a convincing shake, though perhaps he was the only one in tune with her masked amusement, "You died before I could tell you how dumb that whole fuck-up was, and then didn't come back right away! You let me be _nicer_ in your _name_ , you bastard."

"..... You were nicer?" He asked, only to earn another shake. Finally, he couldn't stop it, a laugh pouring out making a sharp distinction between the two situations; to everyone else, Beau was choking him out and ready to send him to another grave. 

To Beau and Molly, it was a welcome back. 

"Beau-" Fjords tone was a warning, the half-orc glaring daggers and matching Caleb's expression to a T as they looked at their combination of idiots. Glancing back at Fjord, Beau sighed and shoved Molly away, the tiefling catching himself in stride.

Turning back to look at him, she lifted a hand to point at him. "This isn't ove-" She got mostly through it before Molly's tail whipped out, snapping her on her arm and earning a slight hiss from the sting. The two of them made eye contact, Beau holding her arm and Molly rubbing at the skin of his neck, before they both gave a quick wink in unison.

When he trailed to the back of the cart, and Beau hopped back up on the front of it, Molly was already making silent plans to find another skein for them to smoke from so he could make fun of her for her greeting without risk of harm.

Sitting back down, Molly watched Jester smile a little, nudging him with her foot. "That was sweet," She said, earning a look from Nott and Caleb as if she were crazy while Fjord could be heard chiding Beau from the other horse. Caduceus nodded in agreement from where he was sat mending a cloak.

Currently, they were on their way north, as much as the idea disgusted Molly. At least he now had access to coin (they took his, and it seemed as if they were all well off enough to sponsor a freshly undead man), and could get some form of protection from the cold. He was offered the explanation of aiming to find a relic that holds the same magic of the orb that Fjord absorbed. Apparently, they had found a collector that had tried to buy it, and were now aiming to beat her to getting another since they 'didn't trust her intentions'.

All Molly heard was attempted justifications at going to Pride's Call, a frozen hellhole on the north-facing side of a mountain range. They were using a far west path through the Curios Mountains, though at the moment they were still off in the distance somewhat. Fjord assured they could just follow the large river flowing in from the Coast as a guide, though it would take them a good week or two to get up there. Meanwhile, they could stop at a few small towns along the way, prepare themselves for the cold.

"To think I was hopeful enough to believe I'd avoid the cold for a while," Molly sighed as a way to change the topic, everyone feeling rattle under them as the reigns were snapped. Their journey had another day or so before turning any form of chilled, but that wouldn't stop him from complaining. "Pride's Call? Really?"

"That is where the relic is. It took...... Quite a while, for us to get that information." Something flashed over Caleb's face after he said that, the crew around him all getting weirdly tense before he continued. "The point is, we sent word ahead that we were interested buyers, and-"

"How much is it?" Molly asked. 

"Free, with the right distractions," Nott said, giving a toothy smile. "They're asking too much for it, and even if we could just buy it, he'd sell it to a higher bidder in a second! We need to make sure it stays with us." 

"If it's that important, we should make it fun," Molly said in response, feeling his lips tug up in a smile. "So? What's the plan when we get there?"

"Well, we won't be arriving for a long time," Jester said, "And when we _do_ get there, we have to take time to check out the shop he keeps it in! Apparently he is one of the major trading posts or something for the region, which means that it's gonna be really really hard to just take it. We need to be sneaky."

"Us? Stealth? There's no greater combo," Molly said with a little too much teasing in his tone, though it did receive some snorts or chuckles. After the laughter died down, a question that had been burning on his tongue finally came to light. "So. No more Iron Shepards then?"

When he looked around, no one seemed as overly upset as they had the night prior over some prodding. Instead, they more looked like they had almost forgotten that Molly wasn't up to date on that section of their adventure. "Right, uh-" Puffing out his cheeks and exhaling deeply, Caleb rubbed a hand over his jaw. "Well. After you-" Motioning a rolling hand at Molly, he broke eye contact, instead clearing his throat before continuing, "We met a woman named Nila, who's mate and son had been taken too. We continued north, met Caduceus, and managed to infiltrate their base. We ah…. Faced Lorenzo once more.

"Shakasta was there as well, and he assisted us. In the end, the Iron Shepards got taken down by the Mighty Nein, and we retrieved our friends." This, he said with a small and fond smile, but Nott elbowed him hard.

"Caleb managed to kill Lorenzo," She said with obvious pride, glancing sideways at her friend and getting an eye roll in response, "And he learned new spells while we were there too! He can summon a hut now."

While the hut was fine and dandy, Molly's brain was stuck on the information of Caleb killing Lorenzo. _Caleb_. "You-" Blinking once, Molly's smile turned large, sharper teeth making for an intimidating grin. "Why Mr. Caleb, I didn't know you had it in you."

"….. He killed my cat," Caleb said in response with a shrug, though he smiled a bit wider as well while Jester, Nott and Caduceus laughed at a joke Molly didn't get, even if he laughed along with them.

It was good, to be back.

 

-

 

The first town was nothing more than a few houses pressed together with a local tavern. It was similar, in some ways, to the tiny place Molly had managed to find after crawling from the grave. This information, he did not share.

Instead, he reveled in the familiarity of them getting rooms. Of flopping onto a bed while Fjord carefully set things away for the night and the two chatted before tossing his jacket anywhere and earning a fake glare. Of sitting down at the large table downstairs and having ale and bread while everyone laughed and drank.

It was the familiarity of being back where he belonged, and that bone deep satisfaction would never be matched quite the same way.

Hearing stories of the adventures he'd missed were all thrilling, if not minutely startling, and every little bit got better with extra ale. By the time he was feeling warm in the ears and perhaps a little too cuddly, he was lounging against Jester, the two listening to Nott recant the tale of them freeing the jinn. Beau had already gone to bed, same with Caduceus, and Fjord looked to be ready to head up as well. Caleb was still nursing his original ale, and that didn't surprise the tiefling at all. He never seemed to drink much, did he?

Jester gave a yawn, cheek pressed into his shoulder, and Molly realized he'd apparently been staring, if Caleb's questioning look was anything to go by. So, with the ale keeping him impossibly more confident, he gave a wink and gave a deep chuckle when the wizard promptly looked away. Stretching a little, Jester mumbled something before she finally sat up fully, Molly following suit so neither of them tipped over. "I think it's time for me to sleep," She admitted to the group, sentence almost getting interrupted by another yawn that still weaseled its way into her lungs afterwards.

"I second that," Fjord admitted from where he was leaning on the table, ticking a single finger up in solidarity.

Looking around at the remaining faces, Nott deflated a little, blowing a small raspberry. "Is everyone heading to bed?"

Molly looked between the two of them, giving a shrug and lifting his drink to his lips. "I think I've slept enough for a while; I'll be up."

Behind him, Jester and Fjord bid their goodbyes and went upstairs. 

Caleb also admitted to wanting to stay up, so Nott clapped her hands together cheerily. "Excellent! Well I'm off to bed, so you two have fun."

"Wait, what?" Caleb asked, looking over at her as she grabbed her flask and hugged it to her chest.

"I'm _tired_ , Caleb," She said with the same tone as a mother refusing a child a toy at the market, "If you're not, I'm not gonna wait up!"

The two took a few moments to stare at each other, Caleb's eyes narrowing and Nott's expression turning almost rueful. She broke eye contact first, turning to give Molly a short wave. "G'Night!" She said, heading for the stairs as Caleb mumbled something under his breath.

With her footfalls receding, Molly and Caleb were left alone in a now empty tavern, minus the barkeep who didn't seem to be paying them any attention. The table was a mess of ripped bread and half drunk ale and milk, and both of the remaining patrons stared at each other for near a minute without speaking.

"….. So," Molly started, elbows meeting the tabletop as he leaned forward, "Nice night tonight."

"Are you truly aiming to discuss the weather?" Caleb asked, at very least sounding amused if not somewhat nervous.

"Who said anything about weather?" Another wink, and Molly took another long pull of his ale, woeful to find it finally empty. Ah, well. "Everything about tonight was good. That week alone felt like hell, especially compared to this."

When he said that, Caleb's expression pinched suddenly, and the tiefling paused mid-reach for some bread. He was about to ask what he'd said wrong when Caleb began to speak. "To think, you experienced only a week."

"Only?" Molly parroted, feeling just a touch of indigence at the word. "I wouldn't say 'only'."

Frowning, Caleb shook his head. "No, I still mean only. You were only gone a week, in your mind." How blasé the statement was got Molly coming back to the realization that it had been much, much longer indeed. Breaking eye contact with the human, Molly heard Caleb continue. "Nights like this didn't happen easily, after. Not for quite a while."

"After me?" Molly asked, glancing up and seeing Caleb give a small nod.

"Ja. After we got everyone out, it felt……" Looking for the right word, Caleb seemed to have a difficult time finding it. Eventually, he waved his hand, clearing the thought, "The fun times seemed to only come with much ale and a revival of memories, not of hopes for what was to come."

"Nights like that usually come up from that combination," Molly aimed to insist, but the wizard scoffed.

"You are the only person who had more than one ale tonight," He said, and Molly had to look around the table to realize that even those ordered hadn't been fully drunk. When he looked back up, Caleb's expression was an awkward and fond one. "As I said. Not too common, usually."

Taking this information in, Molly cleared his throat, sobering up a little just from the display of comfort as his shoulders squared. "Oh." 

"Ja."

"….. Is that why you brought me back?" It was meant to come out as a joke, but in his tipsy state it more came out as curious, if not sheepish. That sheepishness increased tenfold when Caleb looked unhappy instead of amused.

"What?" He asked too shortly, and Molly aimed to backpedal.

"I was kidding," he tried to say, but Caleb didn't look particularly convinced. Liquid courage in his veins turned his words into liquid truth, something exceedingly rare with him and forcing his hand. "I just….. Don't understand, I suppose."

"You don't _understand_ why I brought you back?" He asked, and Molly shrugged.

"Not particularly, no. I don't get why you would look so far back in the past when I tried to teach you all otherwise. The past doesn't have to dictate your future, period. I still don't fully understand how you knew I was back, or how you managed to find me."

Taking a deep breath, Caleb considered this for a moment. "The spell was one that required a name. I gave the name Mollymauk Tealeaf, and if I was to get anyone, it would be to get you and just you. As for how I knew..... I don't understand it well myself, which pisses me off slightly if I am fully honest with you because I have no way of finding a proper answer. It felt like the world got sharper; I do not understand how, but you give off a very strong energy that I _felt_ come back.

"It was more of a matter of finding the proper things, to do the spell. And surpressing the nerves that it was just your body with that magical energy, not _you_. Which, again, thank you for taking so much time to come through the portal," He aimed to tease, finally getting fidgety enough to look away. He picked at his fingernail idly while Molly nodded, Caleb only looking back up when his friend spoke.

"So you took that into account? Not wanting some new person and using a specific spell to only find me?" The very idea had some warmth bubbling at the base of his throat, but his worries didn't seem to cease. "It sounds like a hell of a lot of extra work; If I was a ghost story, isn't it better for you all to leave me as one? To me, no time passed, but you all went through-" He gave a tiny laugh, "I'm guessing a lot. Wouldn't it have made sense, to let me wander, stranger or Molly?"

"No."

The short answer was funny enough to earn Molly laughing, though halfway through his laughter turned a little more wet and his eyes began to ache. The ale no longer seemed to be making him warm and comfortable; It just made him feel too warm, like he had a fever instead. When he looked up, Caleb looked pointedly uncomfortable, but he also looked concerned still. "That uh, wasn't that funny," He said, but Molly shook his head to disagree.

Instead, Caleb continued. "I meant no because I am a selfish man. I told you; No moons, four moons, a hundred moons. I saved my money to get the right pieces for that spell because I was hopeful. I wanted back _you_ , and not just your body, or someone else who resided there once upon a time.

"We mourned. Some of us never stopped. So why would I let you disappear when I had the chance to retrieve you?" Clicking his tongue, that discomfort turned to amusement as he teased, "I never took you for a depressant drunk, Mr. Mollymauk."

Trying to inhale through his nose and finding it stuffed, Molly gave a snort instead. "It only happens after I die, I think."

"So, bi-weekly." The joke earned a surprised laugh, one not tainted with tears, and Molly felt pleasant surprise when Caleb ordered another ale. After turning away from the barkeep, Caleb matched Molly's pose, seeming more present than he had all night. "So? Are we staying up with or without the help of a good drink?"

"With," Molly decided, reaching over to grab Fjord's discarded drink and taking a swig and grinning. "If you think you can keep up with me."

 

-

 

By the time Caleb began to feel tired, his throat hurt from how much he'd laughed. Molly had notoriously been a smartass, but his humor had been sorely missed. In turn, Molly was wiping at his eyes, having already congratulated Caleb on developing such a dry sense of humor that was unmatched by anyone he'd met yet. 

The night had strayed from the darker sides of the past, instead becoming a swap of sorts of all kinds of stories. Funny ones, moments of fear, moments of weakness. Telling, sure, but never too exposing. 

It was enough fun that they both lost track of time. 

When the tiefling gave a yawn, Caleb nodded heavier than he meant, the ale keeping his very bones warm and limbs loose. "We should sleep," he said, but Molly's nose scrunched at the thought. 

"I'm not-" Another yawn, and Molly shook his head, "Tired."

"Right, I had forgotten you yawn for fun." Nodding sagely, Caleb's expression softened minutely when he saw Molly blink tiredly as he chuckled. His stubbornness had also been missed, and right now in his inebriated state it was more endearing than frustrating. "Well. I will see you in the morning, then?"

"Not a question," Molly promised, smiling back and taking another drink of his ale. At this point, the barkeep had dozed off behind the counter, so Molly and Caleb had taken to pilfering the leftovers from the tabletop after the double rounds they'd ordered previously. Right now, he was finishing off Beau's ale, and Caleb downed the remainder of Nott's mead before standing. 

When he walked past Molly, he set a hand on his shoulder, nearly jumping out of his skin when Molly lifted his fingers to cover Caleb's momentarily and giving a light squeeze.

The touch was warm, and soft, and made his fuzzy head even more light.

Caleb wasn't a fan of most touch, even hugs usually being a bit awkward unless it was Nott. He'd hugged Molly, yes, but the man had come back from the dead. This was just touching for the sake of touching, and it was _welcomed_.

As quickly as it happened, the moment passed, both of them let their hands drop with Caleb's feet pulling him forward and Molly lifting his tankard again. 

When the wizard snuck into his room, the soft sound of Nott snoring was a comfort. Moving to lie down in bed, he wrapped his coat tighter around himself, feeling silly; it had been a gamble in his mind to touch Molly's shoulder, always nervous about contact, but to have him touch _back_ still had his heart racing.

This alone made sleep impossible.

Five minutes, then ten, and Caleb couldn't help but turn over four or five times in succession. Perhaps he should go back downstairs?

In what world had a simple touch been enough to shake sleep from his eyes so easily?

 _In the world where it was Mollymauk_ , his brain supplied, and he sat up with a soft huff.

Nott continued to snore.

Perhaps he should go downstairs. Talk more, see if anyone else left something to drink so they didn't have to bother the barkeep, and let himself get as relaxed as he had been seconds before heading upstairs. It was feasible as a plan, and yet the idea of seeing Molly again was so.... So.....

Pushing himself to stand, Caleb took another full minute of convincing himself to head back downstairs before he finally let the door open with a soft creak. The darkened hallways felt bright compared to his room, and the closer he got to the stairs the harsher the lantern light was on his eyes.

Trailing down, he peeked over the banister only to pause.

Mollymauk was asleep against the table, arm wrapped protectively around his tankard and hair in his face.

"Ten minutes...." Caleb mumbled, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of the man they'd brought back. He turned to go back upstairs, but stopped, looking back downstairs. Stuck in place momentarily, the wizard padded carefully downstairs, making sure to avoid the steps that had groaned under his weight the first time he'd walked up them earlier that day.

Approaching Molly, he tried to decide if he should bring him back upstairs or not. Judging by his insistence earlier, he assumed Molly would just make himself stay awake if awoken, meaning it was best to leave him. But the slight chill in the air from being a touch closer north wasn't ideal, and didn't Molly say how much he hated the cold over and over?

A glance around provided the information that the tiefling had left his coat upstairs, seeing as it wasn't on the back of any chairs.

He should let him sleep.

Nodding to himself, Caleb backed up a single step before stopping again, swaying as his sober mind fought his drunk body on its own idea of kindness.

Hm.

 

-

 

"Hey. Pssssssssst, Molly!" Jester's voice drew Molly back to himself, the uncomfortable position of sleeping hunched over the table in the tavern enough to earn a soft groan. He felt warm, almost too warm, and had been having a nice enough dream to be bothered by the interruption.

Ears finally picking up on the din around him, Molly realized that it was now morning. Cracking open a red eye, he could see Jester with her head tipped, looking down at him with a particular sort of grin on her face. Next to her was Beau, who looked somewhat smug. ".... Morning," He greeted gravelly, head throbbing from the lack of water and excess of drink. Eye closing again, he turned his head to bury his face back into his arm, and felt....

Something.

Opening his eyes again, he was greeted with a recently washed but overly worn sleeve of a jacket. Heavy, brown, and the exact opposite of his own gaudy apparel.

"Late night?" Beau asked, and the way she asked it got the tiefling's head swiveling to look at her. The second he did, both Jester and Beau burst into laughter, and he couldn't help but glare. Seeing the look, Beau went as far as to give a small snort. "Oh come on, no reason to look like that. Just didn't know you guys were that.... Cozy." The word 'cozy' got Jester making some sort of high pitched noise, her laughter continuing.

Sitting up finally, Molly's hands both snapped up to catch the jacket from sliding off his shoulders, pulling it back to be draped up similar to a cloak. It didn't smell bad (thankfully), and it was very warm.

The fact that Caleb was the owner of it also didn't help his want to keep it from meeting the ground. Wasn't that a sign of respect or something?

"It's too early to deal with you," Molly griped, though Beau looked unconvinced. Instead, she just lofted her brows, and he rolled his eyes in response. "You and I can discuss this later. For now, aren't we supposed to be on the road or something? What happened to Pride's Call, posthaste?"

"What?" Giving a gasp, Jester shoved her way in between Molly and Beau, all but five inches from his face and earning a startled look. "What do you mean discuss later? Can you tell me too? What is there to talk about? Why is him giving you his jacket so important? Oh!" Wiggling her hands a little, she began to try to whisper as loud as a firecracker, "Did you guys kiss or something? Are you-" Beau's hand reached around and covered Jester's mouth as Molly's face heated up a good thousand degrees, the monk dragging their cleric backwards and away from the freshly awoken member of their group.

"Has anyone told you before that subtlety isn't your strong suit?" Beau asked as she began to lead Jester away, still not removing a hand from her mouth but getting an enthusiastic nod in return.

Molly watched them go, pulling the jacket around his shoulders tighter as he stood.

..... He'd return it later.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((It uh,,,, never ends kiddos. Really though, I'm having a blast writing this? Point is, I also have a full other chapter up next but its slightly intense so I thought this would be nicer to have as its own chapter lol. Hope you guys enjoy!

"Absolutely not."

"Not even for a _thousand_ platinum?"

"Are you gonna _give_ me a thousand platinum?"

"I'm saying hypothetically!" 

Five days further North had reminded Caleb how restless they all got in the cold.

Sure, they were all people with low impulse control as it was, but at the same time they really shouldn't even be _arguing_ this at the moment.

"I don't plan on throwin' myself in a mostly frozen river, no," Fjord said, getting a groan from Nott as she hucked a stone at said frozen lake in boredom.

The horses needed water, the Nein needed to eat, and the snow that was falling was practically melted by the time it reached the ground anyways; There were worse places they could have stopped. They had just reached a moderately large lake that swelled up to occupy the dip between the mountains they were traveling along, the river having led them to it. It was surrounded by large stones and thousands of dark green trees, making the area feel even more secluded than most of their trek through the mountain range had already felt.

It was close enough to the Menagerie Coast that it wasn't unbearable in its chill, but the slightest wind got Beau and Nott both snapping at nothing due to the shivers it worked out of them.

Currently, Caduceus was working on cooking them all a nice dinner before they attempted heading up further towards the thicker snowfall the next day, and Jester was trying her hand at fishing, to no avail. Nott had taken to skipping stones, each one hitting the water once with a large splash. Molly was aiming to nap, wrapped up in both his jacket and a spare blanket in the back of the cart, while Caleb watched both Beau and Nott try to convince their ex-sailor to jump into the water.

It looked almost like slush, from how cold it was, and the very thought of any of them entering it had the wizard trying to shake off the imaginary cold. Adjusting his seat against the pine tree he was nestled under a good thirty feet away from the water and his friends, Caleb tried to turn back to his scrolls.

There were still many he needed to inscribe with his own ink and paper, and at the moment he still had a handful that needed to be translated. On the road, it was harder to study than not, so moments of peace like this were coveted in the wizards mind.

He almost got a full line translated before the feeling of a warm body plopping down next to him distracted him, breaking his concentration. "Do any of you lot know the meaning of _quiet_?" Molly looked to be miffed and half awake when Caleb dared to look over at him, hair sticking up a little funny around his horns and getting Caleb's chest to tighten minutely.

"That is a rich statement coming from you, Mr. Tealeaf," Caleb baited, getting a sideways ruby glare in return. Though, there seemed to be no anger or heat behind it. From what Caleb could tell, Molly didn't like sleeping at night anymore; He preferred naps in the day, when he could wake up and everyone else would still be up and about. The cause of this, Caleb could guess and had even mentioned it to Nott, but that didn't mean everyone else was picking up on it the way he had.

Or was going to be respectful of nap-time, if the continued yelling downwind was any indication.

Sighing, Molly rubbed at his face with the corner of his blanket, only for Caleb to start violently when the blood hunter's head plopped to rest on his shoulder. "I may have my flaws, Widogast, but I know when to shut up for the sake of someone's sanity." A pause. "...... Mostly."

"Am I a pillow now?" Caleb had to ask, shoulders rendered crooked to avoid jarring Molly's head as a horn tucked snugly against the collar of his jacket. When he received an affirmative hum, his eyes rolled. "Is this position not.... uncomfortable? For you?" He tried to ask like he was concerned, hoping he'd be able to move lest Molly catch wind of his absolute tattoo of a heartbeat.

"You're warm." It came out almost as petulant, and Caleb ended up sighing in response. "It's not my fault I hate the cold, and everyone else is far away. Not to mention, as much as I like the fellow, I'm not about to hunker down against Caduceus."

"Too furry?" Caleb teased, resigning himself to his fate as he adjusted the scroll to be able to study it in the new odd position, starting to read again.

"I don't know him yet." Giving a little shrug, Molly turned his head and yawned against Caleb's shoulder, the heat of the exhale soaking through the thick material and making Caleb lose the line he was reading a second time. "Jester is fishing, Yasha is off wandering, and you're here. So, you're the lucky winner, and I'm the prize to collect."

Trying not to fidget anxiously, Caleb gave a little nod, concentration officially shot. Letting the scroll furl back up into a loose loop of parchment, he tried not to mourn the loss of his precious decoding time. So much for studying, he supposed. Watching out over the river as if he could pay attention to much of anything at the moment, Caleb gave a flat little hum. "I suppose I am the lucky one then, ja?"

"Tieflings are naturally warm blooded," Molly began confusingly, his head tipping and his horn digging in a little more. Caleb opened his mouth to complain, gaze flitting sideways and managing to catch Molly's on the way, the pair of them now making eye contact. "Meaning I'm warming you as much as you're warming me. So quite technically, I am doing you a massive favor right now."

"A favor?" Caleb parroted, looking entirely unconvinced at the turn of events. "I was studying quietly, when did I ask for assistance?"

"Studying under a tree as it starts to snow? You _had_ to be cold, if not on the brink of _freezing_ to death. And here I am, giving up my warm pile of items in the cart to come keep you from _dying_."

"That is very dramatic," Caleb tried to insist, but his words held no chiding tone after having to leave through his amused smile. "And who is sapping warmth from who, here? I felt fine before I was having to produce heat for two."

"Do you want me to leave?" Molly asked, though something told Caleb no matter what he said, he wouldn't.

"........ I'll take the blessings as they come. I simply cannot give up a chance to ward off the cold when it is so kindly offered to me, now can I?" Letting the scroll rest on the ground next to his thigh, Caleb tucked his coat tighter around him, daring to lean back into the contact Molly was offering.

Against his shoulder, he felt the tiefling smile.

Before the sound of splashing got both of them jumping, Fjord's cheers of victory and Nott and Beau's groans of probably lost coin filling the area around them. From where they were sitting, Caleb watched Fjord emerge from the water, soaked to the bone and already aiming to flick the water off of his person before he held out a hand expectantly. Both Beau and Nott began to dig for coin in their pockets, and Molly laughed next to him.

"I should give that a go, if they're willing to pay up for it," He said, earning a frown from Caleb. Right; They hadn't had any work since they got Molly back with them, and the man was basically robbed at the grave by, well, them.

Originally the funds had been taken in hopes that they could be used to revive him, but that obviously didn't pan out.

"We will make sure you get coin on a job, not by getting hypothermia," Caleb hushed, before seeming to remember something. Coin wasn't the only thing that had been looted from Molly's body. "Wait-"

Sitting up straighter with no warning, Molly pulled away to watch Caleb begin to dig through his innumerable pockets. When he finally found the dainty chain, Caleb hooked a finger around it, pulling it loose and hearing Molly make a surprised noise when it was revealed. "I had forgotten I had it," Caleb admitted, holding up the Periapt of Wound Closure. "Beau gave it to me, after we uh, well, looted you. I have kept it aside."

"Why not wear it?" Molly asked, reaching out to touch the small charm but not daring to grab it. This, Caleb didn't understand, offering the item out impossibly more clearly and going as far to wiggle it a little.

"It was not mine to utilize. I ah, did not enjoy the thought of having to buy you a new one, should I break it. It is quite delicate."

"Buy a new one?" Scoffing, Molly covered Caleb's hand with his own, palm burning in comparison to the humans chilled fingers as he pushed it back towards the wizard. "Keep it."

" _Was_? No, it is-"

"It is something that you could use more than me," Molly insisted, his following laugh dry, "Trust me. It didn't do me much good last time, and I'm still here."

Flinching at the memory, Caleb still shook his head, "Just because you can come back from the dead sometimes does _not_ mean it is all the time. Caution is key, Mollymauk, and this is a good precaution."

"It is also something I forgot I owned. I've sold off most of my trinkets already, and while I liked it, it could be useful to you." Caleb didn't have the greatest talent in reading people, but it seemed like there was something else Molly was refusing to say with that, his gaze flitting around too quickly to be inconspicuous.

"I will not take it."

"It's a gift," Molly tried, offering a kind and crooked grin that Caleb was wise enough not to trust so readily.

"It will either rest on the ground here for someone else to find, or you will take it back," Caleb insisted, pushing back against Molly's hand while the tiefling gave an unamused look in return.

"I _want_ you to have it."

"And I want you to have it too. So either you have it, or I leave it next to the lake."

The two of them had a stare off momentarily, Molly's eyes narrowing as Caleb kept his expression blank. Several long moments later, Molly finally slipped his fingers through Caleb's, carding them along his palm and scooping up the diaphanous chain. "You're a cruel man, to reject a gift," Molly accused, pulling his hand away fully to put the necklace back on while Caleb let his hand drop.

Everywhere Molly's fingers had dragged were positively burning, and not in the way his palms were used to.

When Jester approached them holding a large fish with too many wriggling whiskers right after, Molly finally stood up and left Caleb feeling chilled to the bone without him next to him, listening to Molly compliment her on her catch.

 

-

 

Whatever that fish was, it had been remarkably good.

Molly felt full, laying in the weird bubbled hut that Caleb could now summon and watching the stars lazily. The various sounds of breathing and snoring around him were quiet, and yet it was nigh impossible to sleep.

Closing his eyes and waking up in the dark got his heart racing and brain panicking, and the feeling made his skin crawl to the point of wanting to avoid it at any cost. So far, sleeping in the day had been tolerable, but it meant he napped randomly during the light hours and stayed up all through the dark.

Rolling onto his side and looking out at the river they had been following for days, Molly let a sigh escape him.

Being back was good. More than good, it actually seemed like they all had their shit together. They had a few small battles on their way up here, random small enemies that helped Molly get back into the ways of fighting even if his brain didn't count his four month absence. He had been gifted a short sword that had been left in the cart, though he was still quietly mourning the loss of his scimitar, and wielded it just as professionally as ever.

Fighting wasn't hard; It came naturally to his body and even to his brain, the way it always had before. Molly had felt more prepared, even, after not picking up a blade in a short while; It left his reaction times faster, his hits striking harder.

Not to mention having both Jester and Caduceus was a good enough assurance to have his muscles loose and smile wide as he fought.

Everyone else had progressed tenfold, and he knew he'd have to do quite a lot of work just to catch up to where they were, but he didn't particularly mind it.

It was just-

"What are you thinking about?" His entire body jolted in surprise, hand shooting out to grab his sword next to him before he had for force himself to relax. Turning back over, two glowing golden eyes were looking at him with unadulterated intensity, distracting in the darkness of the night.

"There are better ways to start a conversation," He responded flatly, watching the small goblin woman sit up a little straighter. Both of them were keeping their voices hushed, off to the far left of the dome they were in while everyone else was on their mats. He hadn't even heard her sneak behind him.

Nose scrunching slightly, Nott leaned closer to him. "Why don't you sleep at night anymore? I've been trying to keep you up during the day but you still don't sleep when it's dark out, no matter how tired you are."

"You were doing that on _purpose_?" He hissed out, now sitting up as well and glancing back at the rest of their group. No one stirred, or even acknowledged the quiet sounds coming from the pair of them. No wonder she seemed to yell louder when he went to lie down.

"Only today," Nott promised, shrugging a little, "... And yesterday. Is it because of the dying thing? The darkness or whatever? Or waking up before everyone? That's what Caleb's guessing, but I-"

"Caleb talked about it?" Molly asked, only for Nott to roll her eyes.

"Gods, you two are just-" Rubbing a hand over her face, she nodded. "Yeah, yeah he did. But you know we can't have you asleep in the middle of the day, right? Sleeping at night is kinda important. Real time saver, even."

"Look, I just don't-" Inhaling through his nose, Molly reached up to scrub at his eyes, using it as an excuse to break eye contact. "I don't know why. I feel like I shouldn't need sleep, I guess, or that sleeping for a long period is...... Not ideal. Waking up to the dark, the quiet, and the _cold_."

"Because of the dying thing," Nott repeated sagely, reaching out to pat Molly's knee and earning a glare in response. "Look. I understand, that remembering that can be hard on you. But we can't have you asleep in the cart in case something happens! And with us, something is always happening. Can you imagine us having to wake you up for a battle or something? You need to be ready for anything."

"Ready for anything?" Scoffing, he knew his annoyance at the statement stemmed from his lack of proper rest. Cat naps could do well for short amounts of time, but going on four days without sleeping a full night got his metaphorical hackles rising at her chiding. "There's not much I can do to change it," Molly argued, sounding miffed that Nott would insinuate otherwise.

"Have you tried, oh I don't know, _telling_ people? Instead of just being the weirdo trying to sleep before dinner and napping during breakfast?" She ventured. "Because if you're that worried about waking up in the dark or by yourself, just say something and we can _help_ with that, you know."

When she was met with silence, Molly breaking eye contact and not responding, Nott stayed quiet for another few moments. Without warning, she stood up and left, leaving Molly alone as he watched her small figure move to the other side of the small dome. For a moment, he assumed she was just going back to bed before the sound of something lightly scraping on the ground filled his ears. Watching her shadowed figure trail back over with her overly worn mat over her arm, Molly didn't really know what to say as she dropped it down next to him.

Crawling onto it and using the swatch of material that had yet to be sewn back into place on it as a blanket, Nott looked up at Molly. "Why are you staring?" She asked, as if she wasn't doing something odd.

"Why are you-"

"You get all fidgety, I'll wake you back up fully. I have practice, I'm really good at it! You don't have to wake up alone," She promised, burrowing further into her sleeping mat. "Okay?"

"Why do you have practice?" He asked, not yet moving to lie back down.

"He gets nightmares. Not often anymore, but...." Another shrug, and Nott glanced back to where Caleb was sleeping. "But he's a lot better now."

When she looked back at him, the two of them shared a long look before Molly finally scooted to lie back down on his mat, swallowing the lump in his throat when he closed his eyes.

After a mere minute, he felt a small foot touching his knee, Nott already beginning to snore, and for a lot of reasons the tension in his chest began to relax.

It wasn't cold, it wasn't quiet, and he wasn't alone. The snoring, the touch and his jacket assured all of these things to him, and were a bigger comfort than he had imagined they would be.

It wasn't until the morning came, sunlight hitting his eyes and getting him to roll over, that Molly registered that he'd actually been comfortable enough to fall asleep.

The sound of birds chirping overhead got him going as far to sit up, noticing that Fjord and Caduceus were still asleep, the dome still engaged. Otherwise, he could see Nott helping cook something over the open fire outside, with Caleb reading near the inside edge of the Tiny Hut and Beau checking the clothes they'd hung up yesterday after Fjord jumped in the river. Judging by her beginning to tug them down, they must have dried overnight.

Looking next to him, Nott's mat was already gone, giving no indication she had ever been there. If he didn't know any better, he'd say that perhaps it had been a dream, but the fact that he would have had to have been asleep in the first place dashed that theory.

Pushing himself to stand and stretching, Molly felt his back pop repeatedly at the action as he yawned a little. Rolling up his mat, he left Caleb to read and Fjord and Caduceus to sleep as he trailed outside. Beau gave him a short chin raise in greeting before heading back into the hut, while Nott didn't even bothering to look up as she continued to poke at some form of meat in the pan with a stick.

"Sleep well?" She asked lazily, not sounding very interested as she remained distracted with cooking. 

"Yeah," Molly said, watching Nott's eyes flit up to him for a mere moment before back down to their breakfast. Smiling a little wider, he clicked his tongue. "I feel much better. Ready for anything, in fact."

This, Nott smiled at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((This was written pre-Episode 41 so (spoiler) Caleb giving Caduceus the Periapt was really sweet and RUINED A LOT so we're gonna ignore it lol. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((So, new chapter!! TW; Gore/descriptions of injury and hella suspense for a short bit. I tried to write this with the turn-taking-format in mind, so I hope that translates! Hope you enjoy!!

Ready for anything. That's what he'd said. 

Yet not even 5 hours later and Molly had blood in his eyes and could only hear chaos around him. 

The stories of his crew almost dying bi-weekly during his absence had been terrible, but had seemed to be more of an 'in the past' worry from what he'd seen.

A 'Before we got stronger' worry. 

A 'Before we had two clerics' worry.

Now, Molly was fairly sure he was one of the only people left standing, and was blind, bruised and bloodied.

The Nein tried to cut through a gap in the mountains after eating breakfast and heading out, and had been forced to a stop after their horses had refused to walk forward. Beau went to investigate as to why, and three Ice Golems had emerged from the snow-encrusted cliff edges around them from all sides like moths to a flame. 

They were towering things; Bodies made of clear blue ice that seemed to be boneless, meaning Molly could do nothing to attack them using blood that they didn't have. Their sizes dwarfed that of even their horses, and Caleb didn't even have a chance to make Beauregard grow rapidly to give them better chances before they were all scattered just to keep from being frozen; Every step the Golems took seemed to turn the ground under them and around them to sheer ice, leaving the crew to fight at a distance or to trek forward with the upmost care and concentration. 

The first Golem had been struck down by Fjord's falchion after they'd all moved in to surround the cart, causing the Nein to spread out lest they be bludgeoned to death in a tight circle. After getting hit by several crossbow bolts and a few spells between Nott and Caleb, the sailor had managed to move across the ice behind it and get in a deadly blow. Though his sigh of relief was replaced by a yell when the beast exploded into shards of ice with Fjord's final strike, blasting the half orc backwards from the sheer force.

His head hit the ground, ice sticking out of his arm and shoulder, and he stopped moving. Luckily, his breath was still causing a small plume in front of him, assuring everyone that he wasn't quite dead even if it got all of them beginning to panic. Fjord lay still, while attacks were aimed at the other two intruders that had been keeping Molly, Jester, Beau and Caduceus busy.

Jester had been the next incapacitated, hoping to get their friend back to the waking world now that Caleb and Nott had joined the battle against the two Golems left. Having snuck away to heal Fjord, she got halfway to him before slipping on the ice the first Golem had spawned around it, balance not good enough to avoid falling. It had been well disguised by the falling snow, shrouding the sheen and causing her to slip and twist her ankle. 

Her attention went down to the injury for a mere moment before she looked up, the large hand of one of the remaining Golems swiping at her and tossing her a good twenty feet sideways and straight into Nott. 

She was covering the goblin with her body when she fell like dead weight, Nott trying to unpin herself while keeping Jester's head above the snow. She'd been just about to fire a bolt into the other Golem, and the pair of them getting pinned where they were had got them too close; Upon Jester being thrown just within is proximity, the other Golem swung its arm out, spraying dagger like icicles out in an arc towards them. Three got embedded in Nott's arm, while the blunt end of another slammed into her head and send the goblin's eyes rolling back, hiding her behind Jester when she fell unconscious. 

Caleb and Molly were both desperately trying to flank the beasts, Molly only able to swing and chip off chunks of ice while Caleb blasted heat with every fire spell he had. 

Caduceus was the next to go, after the cold finally caused him to lose his standing the longer the battle wore on. A large chunk of ice was hurled his direction, having originally been sent careening towards Molly who barely managed to dodge it, and he couldn't move fast enough to avoid it. It crushed his right leg under the mass, pinning him to the snow and filling the valley with the sound of echoed pain and calls of concern being parroted back. Caduceus's lanky frame had to do a partial situp to deliver a final summoning of Sacred Flame, causing this Golem to shatter as well, but at a high cost. The injury from the shattered shards and the lack of fleeing from the intense cold rendered Caduceus unconscious moments later.

That explosion was also when the shard pierced Molly's scalp, blinding him and leaving him to stumble alone until colliding with his friend.

" _Molly,_ " a relieved voice said, gripping his arm when he turned to find the source in the void of darkness. 

Molly didn't know where Beau was, but could only grip too tightly at Caleb when the wizard made his presence known. "Good to see I'm not the last one standing," Molly had tried to joke, though it didn't come out as confident. 

"You can't _see_ anything- You look _terrible_." Though they were still in battle, and though the situation was possibly the most serious they'd ever been in, Molly all but barked out a laugh. 

Caleb sounded scared. 

"A flesh-wound only, my friend. I'm feeling excellent." That much at least was true; while the headwound was a throbbing mass of hell, he didn't have other injuries to worry about. "Caleb," he started, his own hands scrambling to lift and cup Caleb's face to feel for major wounds. Molly knew he looked terrible; the cartoonish amount of blood blocking his vision could hardly be good, but he was breathing. Luckily, besides a few small cuts, he couldn't feel any major wounds marring Caleb's face or head, the wizard mostly just sounding panicked and not pained. "I need you to be my eyes. Where is it?" 

"If you are facing North, it is South-East, just now heading this way about 50 feet off," Caleb said in a single breath, before Molly felt the world tilt when he was spun around by his arm. Before he could register why, his back was pressed against Caleb's, the wizard having put himself in between Molly and the Golem as the loud thuds of the enemies footsteps drew nearer. 

The boldness of the move was not one of a coward, and Molly could remember all the times Caleb had called himself one. Perhaps that much really had changed, and only now was it prevalent. 

Back pressing to his friends, the wizard shaking slightly, Molly tried to pull in enough air to keep himself grounded in the moment. Far off, the sounds of Beau fighting had fully stopped, and besides the thudding footsteps the area around them was silent. 

When he gave his own shudder mid-relaxation technique, Molly realized that Caleb wasn't shaking from fear; the Golems seemed to exude a worse cold than the winter itself as they drew closer, chilling the wizard to the core as it closed in and even causing the warm-blooded tiefling to shiver. Caleb gave a sharp inhale suddenly, tensing against Molly and stepping them back one step. " _Fuck_ , Beauregard is down." 

Those words were some of the last Molly had wanted to hear. All it did was confirm his worst fear; they were alone. 

The thudding didn't slow. 

"Caleb-"

"Molly-"

Both fell mute in unison at the sounds of their own names, the creature making a soulless sound on it's approach as both of them fully registered the situation. 

"I'm out of spells," Caleb admitted quietly, backing them up another step and causing Molly to stumble into walk forward in turn. "I can use Flame Bolt, but-"

"But you need time," Molly finished, feeling Caleb nod weakly. Taking a deep inhale, Molly pulled away momentarily and behind him felt Caleb try to grab at him. Turning around to (hopefully) face him, Molly reached out to hook onto Caleb's shoulder, tugging on it to get the wizard to look at him. Hearing Caleb shuffle to do so, Molly swallowed the lump in his throat; Nervously, his hands fluttering back up to his cheeks, pulling Caleb to tip his head forward as Molly's own forehead clunked against his friends. Some far off thought bloomed of him covering ginger locks in his blood, but he pushed that worry away. The sound of their breathing was loud in the minute space between them, and Molly could hear how shuddery each inhale his friend took was. 

The Golems booming steps were now behind Caleb, and getting closer.

"Be my eyes," Molly instructed again. His hand left Caleb's skin and grabbed a necklace he'd just put on the day prior, pulling it off and slipping it over his own horns and letting it drop around Caleb's neck. It would do him better, in the long run, though judging by how well he knew his friend he had the sneaking suspicion that the wizard had his eyes closed or wasn't paying attention to the pass off.

If he had been, he'd have shoved it back (again). 

But, that was an argument he'd love to have later, if they could just get out of this mess alive.

The thudding behind Caleb got impossibly louder, and Molly finally pulled away, gripping a handful of material near Caleb's chest to drag him behind so it was now Molly between the wizard and the beast. 

"I'll buy us time. Just get that Bolt ready," Molly said, taking a deep breath and feeling his lungs sting from the cold. 

His tail flicked anxiously as his hand fell to the handle of his weapon, unsheathing it while he tried to figure out where the hell the monster even _was_.

All he need to do was keep the behemoths attention occupied enough for Caleb to cast a cantrip. That, he could manage. 

Lifting the short sword he had been gifted after losing his scimitar, Molly swung it up, hitting it into his own shoulder and trying not to grit his teeth. In the darkness he was trapped in, color bloomed behind his eyelids as a new pain registered, down to his core and making his legs feel weak. Feeling some of his vigor drain into the cursed bond he had, Molly could almost taste his very soul to stir from the sheer _purpose_ ; It wasn't a hard hit, but the blade was sharp, blood beginning to ooze from the injury in a steady trickle as well as from the red eye on his neck at the summon.

The Golems may not have blood to control, but that didn't mean Molly couldn't dip into his bag of tricks.

He was much stronger, since he had first used Crimson Rite. He'd previously imbued it with ice abilities, but it was taught to him he could get more Rites the stronger he got. He only needed one specific one right now, so here's to hoping he was able to handle summoning it 

"Let this be enough," He dared to hope under his breath, before his blade swung down to his side and he let his voice get loud enough to render his throat raw. 

His yell of Infernal echoed in the valley around him, the tiefling taking one step forward and lifting his arm to swing blindly before a body slid up flush behind his and winded him.

A world of pure darkness and pain suddenly had warmth and the smallest bit of security, sending his mind reeling as he heard Caleb swear quietly right next to his ear. 

"You're blind, this is _stupid_ ," Caleb said. Hands covered his in a panic, still shaking and purely instinctual, Caleb forcing Molly to lift his arm and twisting their joined hands to put his sword sideways over their heads. Caleb flexed to block and Molly mimicked masterfully, the downward swing of the Golem's arm blocked from Caleb's quick thinking.

When Molly asked him to be his eyes this wasn't what he meant, but like Hells he'd complain. He thought Caleb would yell instructions, or tell him to dodge, not- "Up!" Caleb barked, the pair of them blocking a second time at a slightly different angle and sending a painful reverberation through Molly's arm. 

"Thought you'd instruct from the sidelines," Molly admitted, teeth gritting discomfort and wiggling their tangled arms to get his nerves to stop feeling alight. "I'm a distraction, and have good hearing. What happened to letting me buy time?"

"The realization that you were _blind_ , and this is _stupid_ ," Caleb repeated, moving their joint limbs once more and expecting Molly to catch up. 

Caleb controlled, but Molly put in the strength, the wizard stepping them forward and swinging to the left with no warning. Molly followed through with the energy behind the blow when he figured it out, feeling a bone deep satisfaction when a plume of heat washed over them at the successful strike against the Golem. 

Near his ear, Caleb gasped, and Molly's grip on the blade tightened tenfold.

He had managed to successfully conjure Rite of the Flame. 

The golem gave a screech, Caleb yanking Molly backwards and barely managing to deflect another swing as they went. This close, the cold was becoming overwhelming, but there was nowhere to escape to as the pair sapped warmth from their contact. 

"When-" Caleb began, before Molly shushed him. 

"Later!" He insisted instead, feeling Caleb back them up before pushing forward.

"Again!" Caleb instructed, pushing his right foot forward and leading Molly to strike the same way he just had. More heat, another pained sound, and the tiefling gave an almost crazed grin, tasting blood as its course shifted to catch in the corners of his mouth. Was this actually working? 

"Never took you for a fighter!" Molly admitted, focusing on following the subtle movements of the body behind him. He couldn't see, but couldn't just pass the blade off; The second he let it go, it lost it's fire properties, and that was an assured failure. 

Not to mention he'd never actually seen Caleb handle a short sword, and he wasn't sure how well he'd do on his own.

"I'm not!" Caleb said in return, shoving them both forward with no warning and nearly getting his friend to fall face first. His movements were instinctively sound, at least, though the weight and actions of another person hadn't been factored in.

Grunting, Molly tried to stop them, instead over-correcting and winding Caleb behind him as he collided with his back hard. Groaning, Caleb struggled to get in a breath while Molly listened beyond that, hearing the crackling of an ice-formed body shifting close to them. "Caleb-" He said in a warning tone, before giving a quiet yelp at his arm being suddenly ripped to the left. 

"Stab, hard!" Caleb barked, and Molly pulled their joined arms back and shoved forward in an attack as hard as he could manage. It met something, the blade sinking into something with the consistency of hard wood as a red hot blade melted the ice under and around it. 

At least before Molly went to pull it out and realized it was _stuck_. 

There was a blast of cold air as the creature tried to swing now that they were close enough, and Caleb went from guiding his hand to prying his fingers away from the hilt of his blade. 

"Wait-!" Molly started, but Caleb wouldn't stop pulling. He couldn't see how close the monster was, but could feel the gust of cold air the missed hit caused.

"Let go, or we will get crushed!" Caleb insisted, yanking hard to no avail. 

Another swing from the creature and a lack of fleeing got Molly's right arm being hit hard enough that something gave a dull snap, Caleb's arm being cushioned from the blow from the angling. At his yell of pain, Molly earned a slurry of worried Zemian as Caleb tried with renewed vigor to get his injured hand to unclasp from the handle. "Let- Go!" Caleb insisted in Common, aiming to get Molly separated from his weapon and the beast. 

Yet still, Molly scrambled to try to keep contact with the blade, lest they lose the power of it being fire-imbued. Without that, their chances dwindled drastically, especially with a now injured arm and Caleb in the fight and not at a safe distance for his cantrip. "No- we need it!" The infighting of it set the pair of them reeling backwards when Caleb finally succeeded in removing his hand, though that became less of a focus upon entering an area with ice underfoot. The stumble from that point was just to remain upright, which didn't happen as Caleb's back met the snow, Molly falling on top of him and winding the wizard. 

Prone was _not_ good. 

"Fuck!" Molly tried to get up, but underneath them was slick ice, thwarting his attempt to shove up into sitting position with his feet or elbows. 

He couldn't even unpin himself from Caleb, and his sword was gone.

They were going to die, both on their backs, staring at their attacker.

Well, Caleb would be staring, while Molly kept his eyes closed. 

It was too familiar.

_Caleb couldn't come back like he could._

Caleb, still gripping Molly's right hand in a vice, lifted both their hands and said something in a language that Mollymauk was unfamiliar with. The tiefing bit back a groan of pain at the movement of his injured arm, thoughts ripped from past to present as a burst of heat flew from their palms.

Flame Bolt had finally worked, it seemed.

Everything else went quiet as the Golem made a sound that grated on their ears, Caleb tensing and Molly going still. 

But.... The thudding stopped.

A beat of silence, and Caleb muttered, "Oh _sheisse_ -" before his arms wrapped too tightly around Molly, squeezing the air from his lungs as the wizard forced them to roll and crushed Molly's face and body into the cold snow. 

The golem exploded, and above him, Caleb went limp. 

The valley was silent once more.

They had been in a lot of battles together, but never had Molly felt more panicked over the death of an enemy. The shrapnel like effect of the Golems dying could easily shred skin, and Caleb had covered him fully and without thought when he saw it coming. 

Definitely a loss of that cowardice. 

"Caleb?"

And now, he wasn't even conscious.

"Caleb!"

Wiggling his shoulders to try to see if his friend would even begin to stir, Molly felt disheartened when he didn't.

The wizard didn't move, and Molly struggled to free himself. 

Luckily, he knew that his friend wasn't dead; the Periapt of Wound Closure was securely around Caleb's neck, Molly now grateful of his insight to pass it off earlier as he felt shallow breath hit the back of his neck. Sure, if he had gotten pummeled while pinned under Molly, the necklace wouldn't have had any sort of effect, that they all knew from experience, but at the same time he wanted to strangle his unconscious teammate for the self sacrifice.

When he finally shimmied the wizard off of him, Molly tried to take a moment to breathe, head wound and arm throbbing in unison. 

It was too quiet. 

The darkness, the bone deep chill, and the silence felt too reminiscent and caused him to scramble to stand, but fall again and cry out when his right arm went on instinct to catch him. 

Slick ice, right. 

Taking the time to slide on the ice on his butt until he met thick snow that could be walked on, Molly sat there for a second to catch his breath. Lifting his good hand, he felt along the gouged skin below his horn, finding it as long as his hand underneath his hair and freely oozing. Pressing his forehead into the crook of his good arm like a visor, his bad arm was lifted slowly and carefully, Molly using a handful of snow to scrub the blood from his eyes as they welled from the sheer agony of using the injured appendage. 

The snow didn't clear it enough to make his sight crystal, but it was enough to leave his vision blurred and that was an improvement. Blurred was better than gone, but he couldn't remove his good arm from his head without afflicting blindness all over again. 

Behind him, Caleb's slumped form was dark against the snow, and made Molly's stomach twist. In the distance, he could make out blue in a heap, and green laying prone, and tan skin in a slumped pile, and- 

Pink.

When he reached Caduceus, Molly took little care as he began to dig through the firbolgs robes and pouches, teeth grinding as each small movement sent electricity down his arm. As a cleric, Cad had many ingredients, something shifting in his robes like it had its own life and others giving off smells Molly couldn't recognize, but all he really needed to get his fucking _hands on_ was- "Yes!" Molly all but cheered, unfocused eyes still recognizing a health potion when he saw one. 

Leaning on the ice bolder pinning Caduceus's leg, Molly worked for nearly five minutes to roll it away, not resting until he was panting and his head was swimming. To fall unconscious from bloodloss _now_ meant everyone would die, and like fuck if Molly was going to allow that. 

Uncorking the bottle with his teeth, Molly shoved it into Caduceus's mouth, tipping the firbolgs head back with his left hand and closing his eyes as the blood began to pour freely again at the lack of stinting. 

Silence.

"Come on, come on......" He mumbled, waiting for any sign that Caduceus had even swallowed the liquid. 

Silence. 

More silence. 

More si-

The retching gasp Caduceus made was as sweet as any music, and Molly could have cried upon hearing it. "Help Jester," he pleaded immediately, not even waiting to greet his teammate back to the waking world as he let his injured arm fall limply to his side. The good one reached out, grabbing a handful of cloth from some part of Caduceus's clothing and tugging like a child leading a parent at the market to a stall of toys.

The continuing silence he received got the tiefling tugging harder, only to get a quiet and confused, "What?" in return. Caduceus was probably still dazed, but they didnt have _time_ for him not to be ready to play healer. Standing up a little straighter, Molly tightened his grip, trying to pull Caduceus to stand.

"Come on!" Molly said in almost a plead, though stopped near immediately when the firbolg gave a yell of pain.

Molly tried to open his eyes to see how he could help, to no avail. "My leg-" Caduceus started, but he just looked like a red soaked blob in Mollymauks vision, which was useless.

"Lean on me," Molly instructed, having to close his eyes again as the stinging from the blood got too great.

Allowing their cleric to grip at his left arm tightly, Molly helped haul him up, hearing him give a soft huff. "You look, just awful my friend," Caduceus said, and Molly could only nod. 

Realizing his arm was probably broken and he could feel blood all the way down his front reminded _exactly_ how bad it was.

"I know. Start walking, I'll follow," He said, patting Caduceus's side and trying not to get impatient at their lazy pace.

Of course, Caduceus's leg was most likely broken too, and it's not like Molly could run ahead and take charge considering he couldn't even _see_ , or heal people. So, together they hobbled for what felt like too long, until Caduceus finally slowed and stopped. Perking up a little, Molly waited to hear any sort of indication that they had neared one of their fallen friends; He heard the sound of crunching snow, Caduceus sighing and giving a grunt as he separated himself from Molly and disappeared.

More silence.

"Cadu-"

Molly was interrupted by the sound of Jester gasping, a scrambling sound meeting his ears and instinctively making him flinch. "Fjord!" Jester said immediately, sounding so distraught it made Molly's heart ache for her. She'd gotten knocked down mid-reach for him, hadn't she? She was softly shushed by Caduceus, before there was another shifting sound and he heard Nott give a pained groan.

"Fuck-" The goblin grumbled, Molly listening intently for more sounds of shifting snow before he heard a chattering sound. Molly's head tipped at that, before registering it as clattering teeth. They needed to get warm, quickly. "What _happened_?"

"Well-" Molly started, only for the sounds to increase tenfold and both Jester and Nott giving startled gasps.

"What the _fuck_ happened to you?!" Nott squawked immediately, Molly flinching again when a small hand gripped the front of his jacket, pulling him to bend over so the other could try to wipe at his eyes. "Where are you even bleeding from?! Why does your _arm_ look like that?!"

Covering her hand with his, Molly pulled fretting fingers away, instead shaking his head and feeling himself almost lose his balance. He could _wait_. "I'm alive and awake, which is better than everyone else. We need to focus."

"Oh Gods, Fjord!" Jester said again, Molly hearing what sounded like limping pattering footfalls as Jester finally went after their half orc. From the sounds of it, she didn't have to go particularly far, a thud and muttering words being faint and off to the left.

"Where's Beau? And- Caleb! Where is he?" Nott asked, her hand being ripped from Molly's grip as he could all but imagine her head swiveling to look around. A fast gasp cued that she had easily found him. Reaching out, he managed to hook his finger onto some material she was wearing, almost getting knocked over by how hard she tried to sprint upon seeing Caleb off in the distance. "Let me go!"

"I will, just- Make him comfortable?" He requested, relinquishing his hold and hearing Nott sprint off. The bone deep ache in his arm made him bite down on his tongue, yet at the same time he felt Caduceus lean on his good shoulder to stay standing. "Can you still heal him?"

"I think I can manage something," Caduceus assured, his smile back in his voice. "Would you like a hand?"

"I'll take that offer when everyone's awake," Molly promised, before pausing. "Jester!" Calling out to her, Molly listened intently for a response as he held an arm out, Caduceus taking it and beginning that limping pace back from the direction they came. 

"What?" She asked from far off, sounding less stressed but not nearly as chipper as usual. Perhaps Fjord was finally awake, for her to have relaxed minutely, though their near loss was not lost on anyone.

"Can you see Beau?"

"….. Shit!" A pained groan from Fjord, a thunk, and the sound of Jester's receding rushed footsteps answered his question for him.

Giving a chuckle, Caduceus nudged Molly lightly, regaining his attention. "It looks like that is taken care of, isn't that great? Come on; We have more to do."

-

Pain. Warmth. A cold hand on his face.

Caleb awoke shaking his head, hands feeling too empty for a reason he didn't quite remember.

Sitting up too quickly and feeling his head spin, he heard Nott chide him, her hands back on his face and freezing, drawing his attention back to her and-

And she was speaking.

"-ppened? Did he just _leave_ you over here?! Who's blood is this on your forehead? Are you bleeding?" She all but growled out, bright eyes wide and full of panic as she squished his cheeks to make him look at her. "Caleb? Caleb! Caleb, are you listening to me?"

"Ja, ja, just-" Lifting a hand to touch hers, his gaze flitted around, trying to swallow the lump in his throat before he squeezed his eyes shut. She looked worse for wear herself, but Nott was alive and here, which was a large comfort. "Where is Mollymauk?"

When he said this, he managed to open his eyes in time to watch those almost luminecent yellow orbs roll at his own lovedrunkenness. "For fucks sake, you've been awake for ten seconds."

"That is… Not an answer," He settled on, still feeling battered and bruised but less like a pin cushion. He wasn't healed fully, far from it, but at the same time, he should be much worse off considering his last memory of the fight. The phantom feeling of ice shrapnel biting into his back was distinct, but when he rolled his shoulders to rid himself of it he didn't feel much in the way of remaining injury.

Moving to set his hand over his heart when it beat double time from adrenaline at the memory, he felt his fingertips drag against something delicate and new.

Wait. Not new.

Nott looked down, her eyes squinting before her expression smoothed a little too fully. Noticing this, Caleb looked down and recognized the familiar necklace, fingertip poking it as if to make sure it was really there.

A second of silence passed.

The Periapt of Wound Closure was resting around his neck. 

When had he even-

Caleb had only had his eyes closed at one moment during that whole ordeal, and it was ten seconds before Mollymauk put himself in way of that horrific beast and tried to fight _blind_. Apparently just after he'd given up his only fail-safe. Caleb's jaw clenched at the realization. "I am going to kill him."

"So much for making sure he's alive first," Nott volleyed back, watching her best friend tense before she lifted both hands to placate him, "That was a joke! He's alive, he's totally fine, just really really bloody."

Turning to look around, the wizard finally started to take stock of the aftermath. Jester was currently brushing the snow off of Beau, who looked bruised and absolutely livid. Not at their healer, but if he listened hard enough he could hear her cursing 'those stupid ice cubes, what in the hells even-'. Meanwhile, Fjord was packing snow onto his shoulder and arm while trailing towards the cart, though seeing him awake and alive was a relief.

From the looks of it, none of them had been properly healed, just having gotten enough to be standing once more. 

However, he didn't see Caduceus or Mollymauk. Beginning to push himself to stand, Caleb slipped on the slick ice underfoot and grunted when he fell back on his ass. "You say that, but-"

"They went to the cart! Caduceus said some words while touching you, you began to breathe easier, and Molly said to make you comfy! You were only out for another two or three minutes, tops." Sitting back against the snow, Nott looked at her bloodstained bandages on her hands, nose scrunching. "He probably needs the rest." Leaning in, she whispered (probably far too loudly), "It looked like his horn was about to fall off, he was cut so badly! And his _arm_! What happened?"

Looking around at all their awake teammates, and down at that stupid necklace that he had barely managed to get Molly to take back in the first place, Caleb tried to ignore his heart fluttering again for a different reason. "Too much."

 

-

 

One horse had been killed during the battle, found to be littered with icicles and bled out still hitched to the cart. They had unhooked it and packed it in snow out of a show of kindness; Jester and Nott seemed to care the most over this, but Beau stood behind and tried to keep a brave face while wiping at her eyes intermittently, everyone shivering.

All of them were still weak, Caduceus and Jester tapped out on spells until they rested again. The only two who weren't present for the 'burial' were Caduceus and Mollymauk, and at the moment Caleb had too many conflicting feelings to try to approach his friend at all.

They had been there final two left, for a mere moment there. A lot had gone unsaid between them; Caleb knew there had been a time when Mollymauk had been sure he and Nott would turn on the group. He also knew that there had been times where he himself had mistrusted their blood hunter. 

But when he saw Molly walking up to an Ice Golem, blinded by his own life source and willing to still wage war in the mere hope to buy time, he had realized a lot of things all at once. 

He had also put himself on the line instead of fleeing, which was.... New.

While everyone else finished saying goodbye to the fallen animal and took stock of themselves, Caleb trailed around the back of the cart. The plan was to grab a blanket to wrap up in before sitting down and summoning the Hut, but when he looked into the cart, it lent pause. Mollymauk's right arm was carefully being tucked into a sling, Caduceus finishing up tightening it behind him. His head was also wrapped, a red line appearing through the aged cloth and looking hilariously like an illustration out of the books Caleb had read as a child. 

The firbolg himself had a long stick wound up in cloth around his own leg to keep it straight, both of them looking fairly worse for wear. Upon seeing the splint, sling and binding, Caleb frowned, gaze flicking between them. "Why haven't you two healed?" He asked, tone lending to a sharper edge than he'd meant and getting a red and magenta stare back. 

"I need to rest, first," Caduceus explained, giving Molly a sidelong glance and getting one in return. No one was fully healed, but in Caleb's opinion Molly and Caduceus needed it the most. "After helping you, and Nott, and Jester, I-"

"Why was I healed before him?" Motioning at Molly, Caleb noticed the tiefling puff up indignantly. "He needed it more."

"That's ridiculous," Molly scoffed, keen eyes narrowing when Caleb offered a challenging look. "I was awake, you obviously needed it more."

"Kuhscheiße," Caleb hissed, dismissing it. "Your arm was broken and you were _blinded_."

"Well my arms still broken, and I'm not blind anymore. Plus, you're awake. Problems mostly solved, for now," Molly said, though he didn't sound like he believed it. Instead, he looked peeved. "There's an order to these things, Caleb, and you know it. Me being healed does nothing; you being healed provides us with protection from the cold, a translator, a guide, the list goes on. You took piority."

"Priority means-" Caleb began, but was cut off. 

"Priority means everything," Molly snapped, not seeming at all happy by this conversation. The sunlight shining in on him was lessening rapidly; The wizard noticed the sky was beginning to darken, but they were a while off from any town. "It's getting late. Summon the Hut, we'll rest, and be healed by morning. No need to be pissy."

Brows lofting, Caleb crossed his arms. "Pissy? Care for my team is now considered pissy?" 

"Pretending like taking care of others doesn't make sense for the sake of your own agenda is pissy," Molly assured, "Have some self preservation."

Reaching, Caleb looped a finger on the delicate chain of the Periapt, lofting it on display below his own eye level and noticing Molly's expression flicker. "I will not take instructions from a hypocrite, Mollymauk. You lied to me; I was led to believe I would not have this snuck back onto my person, and somehow it was done at a time more dire than not. You gave up your only protection before running in blind, and you want to chide _me_ for lack of self preservation?"

" _Yes_ ," Molly exclaimed with exhaustion, now looking as frustrated as he sounded, "Because you ended up utilizing it! You put yourself into the fight, you played human shield, and if it weren't for that necklace the chances of all of us being alive right now would have dropped drastically."

"Me being nearly dead as opposed to being assuredly 'not dead' does not change much."

"Like Hells it doesn't."

"How would it?"

"It just does!"

"Give me a _reason_ , Molly."

"I don't need to give you _anything_."

"Besides magic necklaces," Caleb volleyed back, Molly sneering at that. 

"You know, for being alive fight now, you're being very ungrateful."

"And for being someone who looks to be beaten to a pulp, you are being very obtuse."

"I'm not about to apologize for making sure you didn't die while playing protector," Molly insisted. 

"How can you say that when you had no idea if you would need the Periapt or not?"

"I didn't _care_. I've only been back for a week and it would make sense to lose me again rather than lose you!"

When the confession was out, Caleb stopped with his mouth still open to continue arguing. Molly look like someone who wanted to swallow their own tongue in wish to retract a public statement, and Caduceus was wearing a rare look of discomfort. Clearing his throat, the firbolg looked between the two of them before nodding. "I'm just gonna....." Motioning his thumb at the opening of the covered cart, Molly shook his head, putting a hand out to block him. 

"Don't. you're hurt, and-"

"I have a hut to summon," Caleb finished for Molly, taking a step back and from the cart and watching a panicked red gaze dip from sight as he walked away. 

Why was he walking away? 

To escape the awkwardness of the conversation, partially. To avoid having to think of Molly feeling that way as well. 

Also to avoid focusing on how instantly that statement had pissed him off. 

What kind of admission was that? When Molly had said the day before that it wouldn't do him any good, it had been assumed he was merely bitter about it not working in the past. Was he really willing to die that quickly? Did he view himself as that expendable? Did he not understand that he was as much of a part of the Nein as anyone else?

Was his willingness to save Caleb strictly for a lack of interest in his own well being? Or-

"Caleb." Coming back to Earth at the sound of his name, Caleb blinked once and let himself follow the voice, looking over at Beau rubbing her hands together. Her eye was partially blackened, and her nose still had dried blood tracks painted in two lines below her nostrils against dark skin. "You gonna summon that hut at some point? There's no way were making it to another town and we all need sleep and warmth, ASAP."

Right. Right, He had a job to do. Nodding, he wandered a good twenty feet from the cart before plopping down in the snow, trying to reign in his focus long enough for it to be useful. 

-

".... So uh..... I'm sensing you two have some sorta connection. That's great, really, but-" 

"I-" Cutting Caduceus off, Molly could feel shame hanging heavy in his chest, not able to make eye contact. "I know, that was shitty for me to say."

"But you meant it."

"..... Yes."

This, Caduceus didn't seem surprised by. It was more just curiosity, his head tipping. "Why?" 'Why' was such an open question. Why was he willing to die again if it kept Caleb alive? Why was he willing to die again _period_ when it had been mentally detrimental? Why was he so sure he'd come back again? Why did he feel as if it didn't matter if he lived or not comparatively?

Why.

"I don't know." Rubbing a thumb and forefinger over his eyes, Molly slumped in place. "I am not as.... Involved, as I was before. If they were going to suffer a loss, it would make sense to lose the newest addition, not one of the oldest."

"From what I've heard, you are one of the oldest," Caduceus said, smile back to soft and knowing, "And if I have a say in it, no one is dying again. You were the last one standing; without you, we all would be in a pretty rough spot." Looking at the opening of the cart, Caduceus shrugged, "They care about you, and well. Call me crazy, but I think you're an important part of the Nein no matter what. I don't think it's a 'we, me' situation. It's just 'we'."

Sighing again, Molly dared to peek up again, though no one approached the cart yet. "I'm happy I'm back. I don't _want_ to die, far from it. But statistically I have a higher chance of coming back than you guys."

"Did you think about what that would do to him? If he had been the reason you passed?" Caduceus dared to ask, and Molly covered his face even more with his hands. 

"Not really."

"Because you haven't had to grieve any of them yet. But that would be their second time grieving you." Reaching out, he patted Molly's shoulder, the tiefling not looking up. "Something to think about."

This was when Fjord finally came up to the cart, reaching in to grab a blanket and check up on them. To mention that the hut was almost done, and offer Caduceus and Molly both a hand on getting out of the cart, and poke around for details as to how the fight had ended.

Molly ended up stayed silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Thanks for reading!! I love me some 'nearly losing the other' angst tbh. Also I had to re-read the shit for casting Rite of the Flame (a level 6 recast) like 12 times bc Molly originally had Rite of Ice. Woof. There is definitely gonna get another chapter to wrap up all this chaos and stupidity, so bear with me, and i hope you guys enjoyed!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Whoo, so close to done! The next chapter is going to be the last, and I am v excited for it! Otherwise, this one is long af lol, so I hope you guys enjoy!

Caleb didn't make eye contact when Molly finally stepped into the Hut. He was soon followed by Fjord and Caduceus, their cleric having to lean heavily on the half-orc to avoid slipping on the snow outside.

Thankfully, the inside of the bubbled fortress was warm and dry, meaning none of them had to further worry about hypothermia. Instead, Beau and Jester had passed out almost immediately upon entering the safe place, with Nott curled up next to the pair of them and waiting patiently for everyone to be inside.

When she caught sight of Molly, her gaze flickered to Caleb, then back.

The whole thing was surprisingly awkward.

Caleb had his nose in a book, but was quite obviously not actually reading as much as staring at one spot on the page. According to Fjord it had taken him 'longer than usual' to summon the Hut anyways, which Molly couldn't help but wonder was his fault or not. Judging by how pointedly Caleb _wasn't_ looking at him, that question sort of answered itself.

Meanwhile, Fjord cleared his throat upon looking between the pair of them, helping Caduceus to sit down. "So uh," He started, drawl lilting the more carefully he chose his words, "What happened, out there? Seems I missed quite a battle."

"Nothing," Caleb immediately said with a shrug, Molly's eyes narrowing in response. Continuing to stare at his book, he continued, "We finished the fight, I got knocked out."

"'Nothing' isn't how I remember it." Mollymauk's voice was perhaps a little too flat, considering it got Caduceus's ears pushing back as he looked up at the tiefling. Nott also seemed concerned at his tone, though again, Caleb didn't look up from the page he was reading.

"Really?" Fjord asked, seemingly aware of the tension strung thick between the two and wanting it dispersed. Sitting down and looking up at Molly, the last person standing in the Hut, Fjord gently prodded, "What d'you remember then?"

"Caleb saved us."

Light blue eyes flicked up and locked onto Molly's at his casual tone, Caleb's nettled expression worsening. "That is not how it went," The wizard insisted, but Molly shrugged.

"Feel free to correct me then."

" _Molly_ saved us," He said, looking over at Fjord and then back up at Molly before the blood hunter shook his head.

"Nope. Caleb did."

Fjord and Nott shared a look of confusion at this, not quite understanding what sort of contest was to be had over insisting the other person to be a hero. Yet that tension was still thick enough to be cut with a blade, and was getting worse with every passing moment. Caleb's book finally closed with a snapping sound, the wizard pushing himself to stand so he could approach Molly.

Molly's chin tipped up as he maintained eye contact, but Caleb simply grabbed the Periapt and yanked hard, the chain making a soft popping sound and falling limp from around his neck. Holding it out, Caleb's gaze was sharp as a daggers. "You dropped this."

"Odd way of saying thank you," Molly responded without moving to take it, and could swear he saw Caleb clench his jaw before the wizard shoved it against his chest.

"If you want to fall in a battle, do not make it for my benefit. I will not be the reason you die," He hissed, dropping the necklace and hearing it hit the floor with little noise. To that, Molly rolled his eyes, expression turning incredulous as he crowded further into Caleb's space.

"Neither of us died, which was the _point_ ; It was me protecting a teammate who can take less damage than me and who I assumed, correctly mind you, would do something stupid." Hitting the small charm with the toe of his boot, Molly shoved a finger against Caleb's chest, "I told you before, I felt fine. I had a cut that looked worse than it was, and I can take a hit better than you can. I don't regret making sure you didn't _die_."

"It has been a long time since you and I have been in a serious battle together, do not pretend to know if I can handle an injury or not!" Caleb said, not backing down, "You approached an Ice Golem that had wiped out half of us while you were blinded, after giving me a precaution that you _needed_ in that moment, without telling me."

"This is rich coming from the man who played shield when he had no idea he was wearing a protective charm," Molly said, brow furrowing his expression became vexed. "Why sacrifice yourself?"

"I-" Gaze finally flicking away, Caleb had to force himself to look back up, "Acted before I thought."

"And I thought before you acted. Why is that criminalized?"

"You _know_ why," Caleb challenged, but Molly crossed his good arm over his sling.

"I don't. I'm not about to apologize for keeping you from dying."

"Then tell me why you claim to be happy to be here but are willing to throw yourself on any blade that is offered! Tell me why you are so willing to die after all of the effort I went through to bring you back!"

Molly reeled at that momentarily, expression hardening as if taking offense to the accusation. "It's not a want to die, it's a want to keep you lot _alive!_ Me giving up the Periapt wasn't asking for death, me giving up the Periapt was me being afraid of losing you."

The two were a here handful of inches away from each other, both with their gazed locked and jaws taught as wire. The words hung heavy, and off to the left Fjord, Caduceus and Nott were all glancing between each other with widened eyes and awkward expressions.

"So you nearly made us lose _you_ , again," Caleb asked, though it sounded less angry and more weary. The shift in his tone got Molly's chest feeling bound, his hand digging into the material of his makeshift sling.

"I didn't...... Think of it, like that," Mollymauk finally admitted, thinking back to what Caduceus said. "I thought of it as being scared and acting on instinct. There was no ulterior motive, I just-" Biting down on his tongue, it was Molly who finally backed up, breaking eye contact. Taking in a deep breath, he exhaled through his nose, feeling the large wound across his scalp throb now that he wasn't distracted by his annoyance.

"You just?" Caleb pushed, expression still steeled as if ready for anything.

"You can't come back from the dead. I probably can. I'll take the chances, I'll take the damage. Because I don't want any of you going through what dying feels like more than the once that it's required, even if we can bring you back. I've done it, I know I can handle it." Looking back up at Caleb, ruby eyes flickered. "I'd rather put you through mourning than through that feeling."

"It is not your choice to decide which would be better," The wizard said, though the fire behind his words was quickly lessening.

"Yeah, well, I did. And I'm not going to apologize, and I'd do it again." The wizard tensed once more, but Molly continued, "You fought with me while leading me like a puppet and made me flee after my arm got crushed when I didn't want to let go of my flame blade. You protected me then, and you killed the Golem after we fell and covered me to protect me a second time. You saved this group by doing that, and you are alive because I gave you that damn necklace in the first place. I don't regret my choices."

"Seriously, _what the hell happened_ out there?"

Both Molly and Caleb jumped at the sound of Nott's voice, sounding full of wonder and beyond confused the more pieces she picked up on. Off to the side, Molly watched Fjord and Caduceus suddenly break their gazes now that the pair were looking around, Fjord picking at his fingernails and Caduceus staring at the ceiling.

Looking back at Caleb, Molly noticed the man was beginning to get the same blank-faced expression he'd always had on when he had first met him. Though, it didn't seem to being put up from anger; Instead, it more seemed to be happening upon realizing they had a rapt audience.

So, after taking a deep breath, Molly began to explain. He explained being blinded, explained Caleb helping him. Explained needing to wait for the cantrip, explained passing off the Periapt. Explained trying to fight, explained Caleb helping him not get crushed to death, and explained Caleb covering him after the Golem exploded.

"..... I'm with Molly on this." All eyes went to Fjord when he spoke, though the tiefling wore an expression of pleasant surprise at hearing it. Noticing he was now the center of attention, Fjord's head shook. "He's got a point; I nearly met my makers by bein' close to one'a those things when it exploded, and I can take a lot more damage than you." Looking up at Caleb, Fjord glanced down at the broken necklace on the floor after. "If it weren't for that charm, I don't know if you would'a even survived, Caleb. Especially takin' the damage to your back like that.

"You both saved us," He continued, "An' I think gettin' this worked up over each other's sacrifices when we didn't face any losses isn't quite necessary. No one died, we're all safe. Ain't that enough?"

When both men realized he was waiting for an actual answer, Molly gave a small nod while Caleb didn't respond. Beau's quiet snoring was the only sound in the Hut for the next minute or so, before Nott cleared her throat.

"We should sleep," She said quietly, and it was only then that both Molly and Caleb backed down, going opposite ways. Caleb went back to where he was sitting before and had left his book, putting it back in his holster and laying down within a matter of a minute, without going to get his mat.

Molly did the same, though on the other side of the Hut. His coat was wrapped around him tightly as he curled up, arm becoming cumbersome now that he was lying down. Though it was uncomfortable, his stubbornness won in the end, the tiefling not shifting further or turning around after that point and pretending he had settled easily.

The sky slowly darkened to be pitch black, and Molly continued to not be able to find sleep.

It wasn't long before he could hear breathing of his friends around him become even and paced. When Molly finally dared to turn around and look at everyone nearly an hour later, Caduceus, Fjord and Caleb all seemed to be asleep. The only person who wasn't was Nott, and when she saw Molly looking she gave a nervous frown.

It was then that he realized if he and Caleb were fighting, that put her in the very awkward position of choosing who she approached. Molly wouldn't sleep, but Caleb was like her son.

So, he waved his hand in a small 'shoo' motion, though he gave a wink he hoped her keen eye could pick up in the dark.

Then, he turned back to facing the snowfall outside, eyes not closing and curling up a little bit tighter.

-

When Nott finally settled down next to Caleb, she was unsurprised when he spoke. "It took you a while," He murmured quietly, the goblin nodding.

"... You were right. He doesn't sleep at night because of the dead thing." Adjusting to lean more against Caleb's stomach, Nott's own voice was hushed, "So I told him I'd sleep next to him, to help him."

A beat of silence, and Caleb questioned, "So? Have you been over there?"

"No, I was watching to see if he'd fall asleep from exhaustion while tinkering. I will always pick you, Caleb, you know that. I will say though, he did wave me over here." A beat of silence, and she nudged him. "Why are you two fighting?"

"Nott-" He sighed, but she cut him off.

"I know, I know, it was the whole sacrifice thing, but. I don't see the problem with making sure to protect the people you love. I'd do the same for you! And you'd do the same for me. Right?" The minute bit of worry in her tone was pushed out as Caleb looped an arm around her, hugging Nott close in the dark and tucking his face against her back.

"Right," he promised. "Of course I would. But you are my best friend, and I am yours. He would not do that for me in the same respect you would."

"He _did_ ," Nott pointed out, knees tucking up to keep her wrapped around Caleb's arm. "But I can agree, not in the same respect."

"... What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, Caleb, we're not _blind_ ," She pointed out, giving a little shrug. Behind her, Caleb shifted, his tone sounding genuinely perplexed.

"I never said you were blind."

"I know, I'm just- Everyone knew, before. And now that he's back-"

"Everyone knew what?"

Unwinding herself from Caleb's arm, Nott turned to look down at him, yellow stare turning surprised at his confusion. "About Molly?"

Rolling his eyes, Caleb carefully sat up, his voice still a mere whisper as he looked at his friend. "What about him, Nott? I am not following."

"About....." Glancing back over at Molly curled up in the dark, Nott rubbed her hands together nervously, " About how he felt about you. I thought it was obvious! We all did."

"..... Excuse me?" He asked dumbly, her hands lifting to her face and pulling on her cheeks.

"Did you not see it?!" She hissed to him, Jester shifting in her sleep and startling them both back into near silence.

Making sure to be as quiet as possible, Caleb leaned back in, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh my Gods, Caleb, he was over the moon about you! He flirted with you constantly! We just assumed you weren't interested, but then with how badly you reacted to his death, and how happy you were when he came back-" She gave a helpless little shrug again, and Caleb stared at her as if she were growing a second head. 

"There is no way-" He started, feeling suddenly too warm as bewilderment and incertitude struck him to his core.

Mollymauk Tealeaf was everything Caleb wasn't. He demanded attention, was flamboyant in his colorful dressing and mass of jewellery, and fought with the fluidity of a master swordsman. He could control the blood in people's veins like a puppeteer, and could dance with the ease of a performer under the spotlight. A skillful liar, a spawn of a demon and a good man.

To look back and view his behavior with Caleb as flirtatious fit, but it seemed so out of the realm of possibility that Caleb had never _bothered_ to take it as serious interest.

Until now.

"Caleb?" Nott repeated again, the wizard having to physically shake his head to draw himself from thought after stopping mid-sentence.

"Why did you not tell me?" He asked, now sounding distressed as he fought to keep his voice down. Reciprocated or not, this was now going to be an incredibly awkward conversation that he already didn't want to have. He had no idea how to be in a relationship anymore (not that he really did in the first place), and the future of added complications flashed before his eyes like every star in the night sky coming into being simultaneously. 

The idea of commitment to another and the idea of losing Molly all over again combined and made a lump grow in his throat, his breathing coming short as every mathematically possible route shot out before him.

This was not something he had ever considered.

"I thought you knew!" She repeated, now a little louder and matching his panic as she watched his breathing go funny. Both of her hands lifting, she waved them, "It's okay! It's okay! Focus on breathing or something, it's not like you have to do anything about it!"

That actually seemed to make it worse as Caleb's breathing got even more out of sorts, until he hunched over completely and let his breath puff against the ground. Nott softly shushed him in a lulling tone, hand rubbing his back in a way that should be soothing.

At least until it stopped suddenly and pulled away, and a larger, warmer hand replaced it ten seconds later in a careful touch.

Caleb shot to sit up straight, Molly's good hand fluttering back to his person as his expression showed his nervousness. The minute amounts of moonlight pouring through the trees near them highlighted Molly's face, making it easy to see how the tiefling's eyes were flicking to look between his own and his expression was wrought with concern.

For a moment, Caleb thought that perhaps Molly overheard them, which made his heart feel even more squeezed between his lungs. But, the tiefling spoke quietly, voice a rumble as he aimed to keep it hushed, "Bad dream?"

The very idea that they had been fighting two hours ago and Molly still came over to check on him at the first signs of discomfort made him want to punch him and pull him closer.

"Y-" Throat clicking, the man struggled to find he right thing to say that wouldn't lead to a very long discussion with all of their teammate sleeping around them and exhaustion hanging heavy in his bones. Turning to look at Nott, he saw her pretending to be sleeping, and didn't know if that helped or hurt this situation. Was it an attempt to give them privacy? Molly was still looking at him, crouched uncomfortably and leaning on one knee with his hand pulled back close, and Caleb finally got out, "No."

Nodding a little, Molly cleared his throat. "Oh. Sorry, I just-" Motioning back to where he'd been lying down, he didn't look away from Caleb, "I heard your breathing. You sounded panicked."

When he didn't get a response, Caleb instead just looking at him with wide open eyes and a flat mouth, Molly raised both eyebrows and waited. Again, Caleb said nothing, so Molly ended up offering a small nod. "Okay, uh-" Rubbing his hand over his face, he finally sat down more fully, being careful not to jar his arm as he did so. "Look. I'm sorry for scaring you. I'm not sorry for saving you, or for giving you the necklace, but I also don't want you thinking I have some hankering to get killed again. Trust me when I say, no one else wants that less than me.

"When I gave you that, it was more to make sure that you'd make it out fine. I didn't think I was going to die, but I also didn't think about what would happen if I did, and how that affects you guys. That's.... Not fair of me. That kind of thinking is what got me killed by Lorenzo; I acted without remembering the consequences of what would happen if I did die." Giving a large breath, Molly looked horribly nervous, as well as uncomfortable.

"I just- I'm glad to be back. Seriously, I am, and I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon. This is my home, and dying is bad enough without taking me from here, so uh. Well. Again, I'm not sorry for what I did, but I'm sorry if it scared you. Not the intent." When Molly finally finished, Caleb hadn't moved an inch, still wearing the same expression and looking like a fish out of water. The silence that hung was only interrupted by the occasional hoot of an owl, or a far off sound of wings fluttering. Tipping his head, Molly's eyes squinted, lifting his hand to wave it a little close to the wizard's face. "Caleb? You in there?"

Giving a blink, followed by three more in quick succession, Caleb tried to find the right words. ".... Thank you," He eventually settled on, though it came out sounding almost mechanical.

The hushed evening din continued on for a few moments after, with Molly looking like he was hoping to get more out of his friend and Caleb looking as out of his depth as he currently felt. Eventually, Molly gave a small nod as if accepting this as his fate, working to push himself to stand. "Well, I'll let you get back to sleeping."

"You were awake." Caleb's voice lent pause to Molly standing, finally looking back at the wizard who was still not taking particularly deep breaths. "That whole time."

"Yeah, I don't sleep well." Giving a shrug, he raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"How much did you hear?" The suspicion in his tone got Molly's other brow lofting in surprise.

"Nothing? I heard you panicking."

"If you heard that then you must have heard my conversation."

"Conversation with who?"

"Nott," Caleb said, motioning at the goblin who gave a moderately convincing soft snore that earned a glare from the wizard.

"Uh, no. No I didn't hear anything." Motioning at Nott, Molly tried not to look amused. "Though right now she doesn't seem like a very good conversationalist."

Leveling Molly with an unamused look, Caleb shook his head. "It was when she was _awake_. I do not talk to sleeping people, I am not insane."

That earned laugh, though it wasn't supposed to. Still, Molly made sure to assure, "Well, trust me, I didn't hear anything. Your whispering skills must have improved tenfold while I've been gone."

At Molly saying that, a thought struck that made Caleb's stomach flip. Looking at the tiefling critically, he asked, "To you, very little time has passed, ja?"

"I mean. Yeah, in theory. Seeing you with long hair or Fjord with tusks after not seeing you guys for what felt like a week was weird as all Hells," he said, scratching at his cheek. "In my mind, I woke up aiming to help defeat the Iron Shepards and save Jester, Yasha and Fjord."

The very idea of that was so astounding it took Caleb a second to gather his thoughts. To think Molly had been gone for so long and not had a chance to register any of it was depressing. The journey they'd been on, the things they'd done, how much they'd grown, was all sudden as a tidal wave to Molly. 

And yet he was still sitting there patiently, waiting for Caleb to get to his point with open curiosity. 

"How different am I?" Caleb didn't mean to ask it quite like that, but he had anyways. Though at the question, Molly seemed to really think on it instead of teasing him, leaning back as he thought. 

"Hm. Well, you're not as cut off anymore." This, he said with a fond smile, looking up at the trees carving dark shapes against the star-chocked sky. "I'd even say you're pushier now. You say what you're thinking, instead of squirreling away to the back of the pack; You don't seem to be as much of a coward, no offense." 

"None taken," he was assured, Caleb waving him on. "Continue."

"..... You're more emotional. The Caleb of my time wouldn't be so ready to hug me, or give up his coat." These were followed by a chuckle, but perhaps by a trick of the light Molly looked slightly sad as he said it. "You are stronger, too. By leagues, actually, it's... It's all very impressive." Shrugging, Molly leaned forward again, looping his good arm around his knees leisurely. "You just seem like you're less afraid to let yourself exist unapologetically. You also have a much more obvious sense of humor, dry as the deserts. I like it."

"It sounds like I was uh, a real asshole during 'your time'." The laugh Molly gave was bright, even if it was done quietly, and worked a rare smile out of the wizard. "I do not really understand how you did not get sick of me by this point."

"Oh there were moments," Molly recalled, expression ten types of fond, "Don't get me wrong, I think you're great, but there were points where I thought you were a danger to everyone." To be fair, Caleb also believed there were points he had been a danger these people, so that he could understand. "But you were just..... Weird. Fascinating."

"Hm." Nodding a little at that, Caleb took a second to look at Molly. Really look at him; Physically, outside of the longer hair and nails, he looked almost the same. But as good as memory was, the colors of his skin, his eyes, his tattoos were much more vivid in person. He still had this overzealous adventurer spirit about him, his curiosity and interest of the world worn openly on his sleeve that even death could not snatch away. 

It was still the same stubborn Mollymauk as before, untouched by their journeys and unburdened by their many newer mistakes. 

"I like this version of you better, if that helps." Coming back to the moment, Caleb noticed Molly watching him right back. "You've grown, for the better. I liked that version too, but-"

"I am still a very flawed man," Caleb said earnestly, getting an eye roll in response. 

"Yeah. We all are. That doesn't mean that you haven't made progress towards a better version of yourself."

Another hoot off in the distance, and the pair looked at each other still. "Kind words from a man who's necklace I broke," Caleb eventually muttered, hearing Molly huff in amusement. 

"Buy me a new one and we'll be even," he snarked in return, glad to see Caleb was back to breathing normally. Woeful as he seemed about it, Molly still tried to give a smile as he began to stand again. "Well, I'll leave you to it."

"Are you going to sleep?" Caleb asked, watching him go. 

"'Sleep' is a strong word," He joked, "I'll live. Get some rest."

"Stay."

Both of them looked startled by Caleb's instruction/offer, the ginger seeming to have spoken without thinking and Molly looking at him to make sure he hadn't imagined it. 

"What?" Molly asked, and it wasn't until Caleb got kicked from a tiny foot behind him that he spoke again. 

"Stay. On this side. We are no longer fighting, and the snow over there is not any more interesting than the snow over here." It was said in a way that kept him removed somewhat, but Caleb would be lying if he said the silence as Molly thought didn't seem to stretch for too long. 

"Are you sure?" 

Why did he look so cautious?

"Yes." Giving a sharp nod, Caleb moved to lie back down. Then, to avoid questions, finished it with, "Goodnight."

From next to him, Caleb heard the tiefling chuckle, the warmth of a body settling near his side assuring him that he'd settled down for the night. "Night," Molly said, silence falling again. 

Ten minutes later, and Nott was snoring in earnest, while Caleb began to drift off. That ceased when a knee touched his leg a little too carefully, instincts wanting to fight before he remembered Molly. The contact was so minute that it really shouldn't have mattered, and yet Caleb had a slight inkling that this wasn't an accidental brush of limbs in the night.

"Mm?" He hummed quietly, immediately feeling Molly pull his leg away.

"Sorry," Molly said in response, not sounding tired per say but still sounding genuine. Turning his head to look at him, Caleb saw Molly laying on his back, hands settled to be laced over his stomach and his eyes closed with his legs now almost pin straight. It had an air of relaxation to it, the pose of a man who was looking to gain rest without the comfort of gaining sleep as well.

Did contact help him? Nott had made a vague mention about sleeping next to him, but was it the factor of having another person next to him in general or was it the fact of contact with another person?

Technically, he could provide both, but.......

That 'This is going to get horribly complicated' feeling from earlier came back, but in less of a tidal wave. It was more of a slow creep up his spine, as he tried to convince himself that Molly had merely touched him by accident and that he should just go to bed.

There were too many things for him to risk, to try to extend any sort of invitation now. Before, it had been harmless banter, but knowing Molly was invested-

Was Caleb going to let himself be invested? Was pursuing this smart?

"Why are you staring?"

Coming back to the moment, Caleb let his gaze focus in, settling on Molly with the man now looking at him with open confusion.

Right, he'd just been staring at him while deciding what to do. Casual.

"Sorry, just-" The internal conflict of merely turning over and going to sleep was being combated by the fact that Molly needed rest and was not going to receive it at the rate he was going. So, as a kindness to the team and _absolutely nothing more_ , he reached out, his hand draping lightly to set against the crook of Molly's arm.

Was this the right thing to do? Was he about to get chided at, for being so forward? Would Molly take it as something more personal than it was? _Was_ it more personal?

Meanwhile, Mollymauk sagged against the ground like he was a pouch cut and pouring water, relaxing truly and showing that 'relaxation' from earlier had probably just been for show. Giving his own little hum, though less curious and more thankful, Molly's mouth pulled into a soft smile before he began to breathe easier.

He didn't even question Caleb further, instead immediately going to being appreciative.

Watching Molly begin to actually drift off instead of merely close his eyes, Caleb felt that knot of anxiety lessen somewhat. He was so worried that Molly would look for the romantic gesture in any action when, well, he was the only one doing that at the moment. Molly just seemed to be thankful that he was with friends, who aimed to help him.

Letting his own eyes close, Caleb let his fingers curl a touch, making the mental note to not let go of his friend. Sleep was key, and if a small touch could help, he could offer it.

-

Morning came with chirping birds and Nott curled up against his back, breath being huffed into his shoulder. Caleb came to with a few deeper breaths as the morning light became too much, adjusting slowly as his body still ached from the battle prior. Sleeping on his side without a mat probably wasn't on his list of his greatest ideas, but after a quick heal from Jester or Caduceus, he'd be feeling right as rain.

On one side of him, Nott kept his back warm even through the thickness of his jacket, her hands curled into the material loosely in her sleep. That much was familiar, and helped the underlying worry that seemed to live in his chest dim minutely.

On the other end of the spectrum, he awoke facing Mollymauk, less than two feet from his person.

Feeling that his hand was still overly warm, Caleb noticed the other hadn't moved much from last night, bar his injured hand having moved to cover Caleb's fingers in the night. He was still breathing steadily, obviously asleep and ignorant to the stirrings around him, but his head bandage had stark drags of red over it, and his hair was still matted with blood.

"Staring's creepy," A voice said, Caleb jolting as Beau continued to use the edge of her shirt to wipe off one of her throwing stars. Looking over at her, his eyes narrowed, though she didn't even look up at him.

"I was not," He said, though even to himself it sounded petulant. Right now, moving would both wake up Nott and Molly, so he didn't want to risk it. They all needed the sleep, and the Hut still had plenty of time.

"Mhmmmmmmmmm," She dragged on a touch too long, both of them glancing at the other and catching eyes. Her expression was an amused one, and it forced him to look away as she shrugged. "I haven't been, y'know, right fuckin' here or anything, but okay."

"Can I help you with something?' Caleb finally asked, keeping his voice quiet and carefully looking for any sign of Molly stirring. The last thing he needed was the tiefling waking up and hearing whatever incriminating statement Beauregard would likely make.

"Nah," She said, though that didn't sound particularly convincing. Dropping one star and moving to the next, Beau's smile became that of a meddling little sisters, "Just surprised by the hand holding. You guys are getting more obvious."

The urge to pull his hand back at the mention was hard to fight, but he did so with a glare in her direction. "It is not hand holding, it is assisting my teammate."

"Yeah, uh huh." Nodding with raised brows and a considering frown, her amusement was evident. "Right, just guys bein' dudes. Holding hands and having deep talks in the middle of the night about how you've grown as a person and how he likes your development."

Stiffening, Caleb became indignant, "You were eavesdropping?"

"Kind of hard not to? You and Nott were talking right next to me about how hard it is for you to understand the basics of flirting, not my fault I woke up. And I was _trying_ to crash again, but by that time Molly was over here and it didn't happen." Giving a little shrug, she paused from the work of scrubbing a speck off the metal, finally looking back up at him, "..... Did you really not know how he felt?"

"I do not want to discuss this right now," He said immediately in lieu of a response, looking between Molly and Beau as he focused on trying to steady his breathing. She lifted her hands to pacify his obvious discomfort, before going back to cleaning.

"Alright, alright, don't keep freaking out. We can talk later, okay?"

"..... Fine." Nodding a little, Caleb let out a breath he didn't realize had been caught in his throat, glad to have avoided the topic, "Thank you."

"'Course," Beau said, giving a one shoulder shrug as her nose scrunched, still obviously working on fixing the miscoloring on her weapon. "He's already used to it anyways."

That statement caught him off guard, the wizards curiosity and confusion making him want to ask but the fear of Molly waking up earning apprehension in its stead. He managed a whole ten seconds of biting his tongue before it came out, the question sharp, "Excuse me?"

"You weren't interested in him before, and to him it's been like, what, two weeks between finding us and being here again?" Looking back at him, dark brows pulled in thought as she leaned her elbows on her knees, "He's used to it, the 'you not being into him' thing. Though you probably need to draw that line more clearly, because this?" Her finger flicked back and forth between them, "Kinda super misleading."

Face going warm as guilt gnawed at his stomach, Caleb couldn't even find himself to censor the conversation as he aimed to explain, "I did not know, thank you. It was not my goal, to misinform."

"Yeah, you say that, but like. You have eyes, man, and a really smart brain. It's not like he was subtle," She scoffed, "Do you think you just didn't want to see it? Make things easier?"

"No," He responded immediately, though Beau didn't look convinced, "This is not something I would turn a blind eye to in such regard."

".... Okay." Giving a little shrug, Beau broke eye contact and went back to her star. Caleb's indigence flared at her obvious disbelief and subsequent dismissal of the conversation.

"Do not 'okay' me like that."

"Well it's not true so I'm not gonna act like it is," She goaded, glancing back up.

"It _is_ true."

"Are you really trying to say you're that oblivious? Because we all know you're not dude. It's okay to avoid that shit if it's going to complicate stuff; No need for heartbreak on a team this size."

"Excuse you, who said it would lead to negatives?" He snapped, now feeling slightly cornered in the conversation. Beau had made up her mind and was refusing to look at actual fact, seemingly no matter what he say.

"Well," She drawled, as if explaining basic math to a young child, "When one person likes another person, but the other person doesn't like them back, the first person gets really really sad." Motioning her star at a sleeping Molly, she said, "Ergo, heartbreak. Shit went south before that, so you didn't have to deal with it before, but you gotta now. Meaning midnight cuddle buddies? Probably not cool on your part."

"I-" Annoyance heavy in his chest, Caleb tried to find the right wording, "This was not for my benefit, it was for his own."

"Aight, then have someone else do it," She said obviously, "It doesn't need to be you."

"But-" Oh, Gods. The word was out of his mouth before he could stop it, a knee-jerk reaction that had Beau freezing in place. Looking at him again, she glanced at Molly, realization slowly dawning on her.

"Oh man," She started, Caleb's free hand lifting to his lips to shush her as her expression grew more and more interested. "Oh my Gods, Caleb are you trying to defend cuddling him?"

"Please, shut up," He said, but now she was smiling, and it was already giving him heartburn.

"No reason to do that unless it benefits you too, huh?"

"I never said that-"

"How long?"

The question hung in the air, invisible and stifling. Caleb didn't respond, instead simply staring at her with a total lack of any amusement and something guarded in his expression. "Last night?" She ventured when he said nothing, though his expression didn't flicker. "This morning, then. Pretty fresh."

"Stop," He said, voice sounding slightly strangled while Nott cuddled closer against his back. Though all of his attention was focused on Beau, who still seemed to be speculating and ignoring his demand as the need to tease became too great.

"I can't believe this, it only took a _million years_ ," She said in way of congratulations, smile wide before she splayed a hand flat in the air in his direction, beginning to explain, "You should take time, figure this shit out more heavily, unpack it. I mean look, I'm not the best person to give out advice on relationships, but 7 hours probably isn't a long enough time to know how you really actually feel. You should-"

"It has not been 7 hours," Caleb all but hissed, though she took this with an amused curl of her lips.

"What, 8 hours then?" She teased.

"No-"

"A particularly saucy dream last night or something then? Please don't tell me you just decided it now or something, because-"

"I knew when he informed us about choosing his own life, free of whatever past he had before as Lucien."

Beau's amusement fell like a ton of lead at how serious Caleb seemed, quickly remembering all the moons back when they had used Zone of Truth on Molly to finally get some information out of him that was straightforward. It had been telling, that much was sure, but hearing that it had been that long ago that Caleb had caught legitimate feelings had her reeling. "Wait, _what_."

"I-" He had not meant to say that. Not only had he said it out loud, he'd snapped it, loud enough that it easily could have woken Molly. Molly, who he'd almost forgot was there while dealing with Beau. Though it felt like falling off a cliffs edge, Caleb forced himself to look over at the blood hunter, who was still peacefully asleep, breathing steady and face lax. Knowing this made him able to suck in a deep breath, shoulders sagging together before looking over at Beau with frustration on his brow. "No more. Later."

"Okay." This time, she agreed more readily, now with a better scope on his intensity of the situation. The teasing was gone, replaced by astute understanding. Behind her, Jester gave a small snort in her sleep as she began to stir, while Caleb closed his eyes again, settling back in. Maybe to catch more sleep, or maybe to relax while waiting for Nott and Molly to wake up. Either or, he hunkered back down as Beau took time to reflect on what she'd just heard, completely missing Molly's face all but splitting into a wide smile after she went back to cleaning her stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((I luv nott, tbh. One chapter left though, whoa man did this oneshot get out of hand. Thank you guys for reading!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((The End

The cart was filled with suppressed energy as they continued North.

After a large group healing session and getting everything packed up, they began at a slower pace towards the next town, still mourning the loss of one of their horses and half of their speed.

Molly seemed to by having to physically bite his tongue to keep from saying.... something. Not only was it not sure, but it wasn't even speculated among the group, everyone assuming what they may in their own heads. This lent to Beau and Fjord watching him carefully, the latter concerned and the former suspicious. Caduceus finally seemed comfortable, no longer stuck in a terrible in-between of deep conversations, and Jester was working on mending the hem of her cloak while glancing at Molly every once in a while.

Outside, Caleb and Nott were playing guard, guiding the cart and keeping watch while snow began to fall.

It took a mere hour before Jester leaned in close to him, her mother tongue grating on the ears of everyone around them and causing Molly to perk up fully. _"Did something happen? You're acting strange."_

"Oh come on, don't do the Infernal thing!" Beau complained, and the sudden reminder that he didn't only speak Common struck Molly like a bolt to the chest.

He wanted to tell _someone_ what he'd overheard. Yasha was still aiming to head back to meet them, but from what she'd told Nott over the wire, she wouldn't be able to make it to Pride's Call for nearly another week. She was usually his go-to confidante, and yet Jester was here looking at him with raised eyebrows and a slight wiggle in her shoulders.

There was no way he could last another week staying quiet when it already felt like his stomach was fit to burst, and he did trust Jester.

 _"I.... Heard something, last night."_ Beau's groan got him smiling a bit, glancing over at her. "If you want to be included, learn Infernal."

"It's almost like there's a language we all already speak that you could speak in instead," She groused, arms crossing over her chest as she leaned back against the wall of the cart.

"Where's the fun in that?" Molly asked, before turning back to Jester. _"I heard Caleb panicking-"_

 _"Panicking?"_ She parroted, the hissing of the language making the word sound impossibly more suspense-laden. _"Why?"_

 _"After you and Beau fell asleep, we got into an argument. He was angry I gave him the Periapt, to keep him from dying in the fight we went through."_ Jester opened her mouth to ask a question, but Molly stopped her with a raised hand, _"Mere semantics, my dear. The point is, I heard Caleb panicking after getting word that I-"_ Having the grace to look embarrassed, Molly cleared his throat, _"Was obvious in my affection, before I died."_

"Psssh! _Yeah? You were trying to bone him since we all met,"_ Jester scoffed, looking more than amused by this. Though, that cheer fell suddenly as she asked, " _He just figured that out?_ "

" _More like Nott told him, but-"_

" _Is he blind?"_ She asked very seriously, earning a level look from him before she giggled. _"Sorry, sorry! Continue."_

_"Well, I went over, and acted like I heard him having a bad dream. We talked, made up, talked more. That's how we ended up sleeping next to each other, but this morning, Beau was talking to him, and-"_

"I recognized my name!" Beau insisted, glaring at the two of them, "Gossip in a group leads to dead people, you know that right?"

"Eavesdropping is _rude_ ," Molly chided, looking directly at her as he continued in Infernal, _"So I was eavesdropping and heard him admit the feeling is mutual."_

The gasp Jester gave was so loud it startled both Beau and Fjord, her excitement palpable as she reached out to smush Molly's cheeks between her hands. "Oh my gods!" She all but chirped, " _You two are in love! Oh my gods, this is so exciting. Did you sweep him off his feet? Did you wake him up with kisses? Did you two fuck? Did you serenade him or something?"_

His own laugh was cheery, the bundle of nerves in his chest alight with joy at the pureness of his friends reaction. At least someone else thought this was a good thing. Reaching up, he took Jester's wrists in his hand lightly, guiding her fingers from his cheeks. _"He doesn't know I heard. I don't now how to approach it."_

 _"This is like, book romance."_ Putting her hand over her heart, Jester swooned dramatically for a moment. Off to the side, Beau looked impossibly more confused, and Fjord was watching the blue tiefling with amusement. _"It's so dramatic! When we get to the next town, you need to do, like, something huge!"_

 _"Huge?"_ Nose scrunching, Molly scratched at his cheek, _"'Grand display of affection' and 'Caleb' don't really mix."_

Seeming to think on this, Jester's head bounced a few times as she considered, _"Okay, maybe not. But you have to do something!"_

 _"Agreed,"_ He hummed, tapping a sharp fingernail against his bottom lip. _"Is a gift the right path? Just asking him? He was so afraid, I don't want to scare him off."_

 _"I mean, I have never really dated, but my mother was pretty much the best ever at it! She knows everything about love, and dating, and courting-"_ Another gasp, and Jester waved her hands back and forth, _"Zemni! Do something that is considered a courting gesture from Zemni Fields! That's like, the most romantic thing on the whole planet."_

 _"Do you know anything about Zemni dating culture?"_ He asked, not sounding the most convinced seeing as it wasn't a massively talked about thing. The most he knew, Zemni Fields was an agricultural area, Caleb being a rare find in such parts. Magic users were hard pressed to excel, and even when they did, could rarely afford to be sent off to better schools.

 _"I mean...... No?"_ Face scrunching, she sighed, _"Are you just gonna tell him? That can be pretty romantic if you do it right."_

 _"And say what? 'I listened in on your conversation, I think we'd do well together?"_ Groaning a little, Molly rubbed a hand over his face, _"It's all so complicated."_

Pausing, Jester gave a shrug. _"I mean. Kiss him."_

"What?" He was surprised enough that he all but barked the word in Common, before correcting, _"Just kiss him? Are you insane?"_

Rolling her eyes, Jester patted his arm, _"Kiss him! It's only complicated if one of you doesn't want it! He likes you, you like him, we are going to a town soon and we will probably be staying at an inn-"_ Stopping for a moment, her smile turned positively wicked. _"And if you room with him, you have the best chances ever."_

_"I usually room with Fjord, and he rooms with Nott. How-"_

_"Well, Fjord and Caduceus room up often, I'm sure they wouldn't mind. And I love sharing a room with Nott and Beau! The point is, I'm offering you a room with Caleb, and you're not saying thank you."_

_"Thank you,"_ He said, his nerves pairing with his excitement to get a gentle smile on his face again. Grinning in response, Jester leaned forward, wrapping him up in a hug.

 _"You'll need to tell me everything!"_ She insisted, wiggling him back and forth just barely in the minute space before pulling back. "Beau!" Jester said suddenly, their monk looking like she was going to try to ignore them out of spite but accidentally perking up at the sound of her name. "Beau. Beau. Beauuuuuuuu-"

"Oh my gods, what?" Beau relented, pinching at the bridge of her nose before glancing over.

"I want to buy you alcohol," Jester said, Beau now freezing as she waited for the punchline.

"Wait, what," She deadpanned, looking suspicious.

"Well, I want to bring you and Nott out! Like a girls night!" Flashing a brilliant and innocent smile, Jester continued, "We can even play wing-ladies or something, if you meet someone! It sounds like fun, Molly agrees." Elbowing him hard, the purple tiefling tried not to groan as the wind got knocked out of him.

"Yeah, that's- What we were just talking about," Molly said, seemingly in agreement as his hand covered his now bruised ribs, "After that battle yesterday, it sounds like it would do us all good, to have a worry free night."

"I don't know if I'll be up for goin' out drinkin'," Fjord admitted with a hint of guilt, Caduceus nodding.

"You know me and my affinity for alcohol," the firbolg joked, before Jester rolled her eyes dramatically.

"You two are so old, gosh." Humming and rubbing her jaw in thought, she perked up as if an idea just hit her, "Okay! Fjord and Caduceus share a room, Molly and Caleb can bunk up since they'll probably drink too but aren't invited to girls night, and then Nott can sleep with us! That way we don't have to worry about anybody getting bothered or something, or woken up in the middle of the night."

Beau was still looking at Jester with narrowed eyes, before the cleric leaned forward a little, giving her a wink, "C'mooooon, Beau, it's free ale! Who knows, we could even start fights or something!"

"..... Keep talking," Beau said, Jester giving a laugh.

"Drinks, and fights, and cool stuff! It'll be fun! Yes?"

Jester's pitch hung heavy in the cart, seeing as Beau's decision would be changing what, at this point, had become standard procedure. Fjord looked between the two of them, Caduceus was looking at Molly with some deep-set amusement, and Beau was staring down Jester, as if trying to get a read on her.

"..... Fine. But _only_ because you promised fights." Beau relenting had Molly side-glancing at Jester with awe in his heart, only to get a quick wink in response. "You'll regret letting me drink on your copper."

"Oh we'll see," Jester said, giving Mollymauk a pointed look.

It read clear as day; _Don't waste this._

-

"So we're sharing a room?" Nott clarified, using Caleb's hand to help her down from the high carriage as the snowfall was stamped down by their horse. When they'd finally pulled to a stop in a smaller merchant town, known as Jaktook, everyone had breathed a collective sigh of relief. The locals seemed to thrive on the fact of being a good stop along the journey to Prides Call, which was considered a larger trading post comparatively. It may not be close to the same size, but Jaktook was a better place to rest and restock on supplies for less coin, making it a staple on the trade route.

Several shopfronts seemed to catch the crews eyes as they journeyed further through the cobblestone streets, heading for the stables of the 'nicer' of the two inns. The word of mouth they were going on was one of the guards standing passage along the main road, who had stopped them to ask their stated purpose and give their cart a once over. It was nowhere near the thoroughness they had gotten before during cart inspections, but rumors of smuggling in the area had been brought to all of their attention prior.

The two inns in town for travelers were the Sheep's Skin and the Lion's Paw, apparently each owned by one side of a set of feuding twins. Lion's Paw had cleaner housing, but more expensive drink, and Sheep's Skin being more on the rough and tumble side while providing alcohol on the cheap. In the end, Beau made the decision to say at the Lion's Paw; Not for the fact of cleaner living, but for the fact of spending Jester's money to 'teach her a lesson in sharing with the group'.

Upon arriving, Jester had pitched the whole idea to Nott, who's expression pinched when her feet landed in the thick coating of snow on the ground. "How crazy are we getting, if we're rooming together?"

"Psh, who knows! We could have a super wild night, we deserve it!" Jester all but chirped, reaching down to grab Nott's hands and spin her a little, "Come on! We will have so much fun, it'll be a girls night! Won't it be good to relax?"

"I mean......" Glancing sideways at Caleb, he gave her an amused look, doing a 'go on' motion with his hands. Upon seeing it, Nott's small smile turned to a full grin, "I suppose I can come out for a drink or two."

"We'll be roommates!" Jester cheered, spinning her again before all but dragging the goblin towards the inn, "Oh man, we can get the _biggest_ bed and we can get all sorts of soft pillows and stuff, and-"

As they trailed away, followed by Beau, Caleb huffed through his nose in a way that was now classified by the others as a laugh. "I suppose I have lost my roommate, then."

A stable-hand had come out and began to lead their horse and cart away, getting a coin passed in his direction by Caduceus as the firbolg wrapped his cloak around himself a little tighter. "Well, neither Fjord or I are that interested in going out," Caduceus explained while returning his attentin to the group, giving a sort of half shrug as he motioned casually at Molly, "So it look like you two may be roomed together, if you'd like to spend some time out of the inn tonight."

"Is-" Obviously trying not to overstep, Fjord cleared his throat, looking between Molly and Caleb, "Is that... Alright? You two gonna do okay?"

"What?" Molly said almost dumbly, before shaking his head a little and snapping back to the realization that the others hadn't been awake last night, "Oh, absolutely! Water under the bridge, we are two coins in a purse, right Caleb?" Setting a hand on the wizards shoulder, Molly half expected to be shrugged off and teased before he felt a hand meet his shoulder in response.

"I believe we can manage," He said, though his tone did translate as one of mirth. A small gust of wind got him giving a shiver, however, the snowfall shifting direction just slightly, "We should head in."

The Lion's Paw was a startling business to enter.

Upon the four members stepping in, the bright candle light and roaring fire changed the lighting from the blue, cold tones that the outside world held into an inviting and warmed space. For it being late afternoon, there were quite a few patrons currently dancing, red and orange hues lighting them up and making all skin tones look further flushed as people laughed and drinks were downed.

The inn was constructed mostly of wood beams and log furniture, the only outliers being iron doors and wall sconces. There was a lion's head hung on the wall, teeth shining in the firelight and adding an air of expense to the space seamlessly while the creature silently roared. Molly's immediate worry became the price of the location, momentarily considering if they should check at the pricing of the Sheep's Skin, before a skeleton key was being jingled in front of his face and returning him to the moment. "Second floor, last room on the right," Jester said, the curl of her lips both mischievous and excited. Looking over, she waved over Caleb, who was currently staring between the faces in the dancing people. That critical eye flicked to Jester the second he heard his name, trailing to join them.

"So," Caleb said upon approaching, watching Jester all but shove Molly a step forward and noticing Mollymauk holding the key, "We will room together, ja?"

"I guess," Molly said with a little shrug, as if this hadn't been planned out by their nosy friend. Next to him, Jester dipped away to go disperse the rest of their keys, and Molly couldn't help but lean in, his voice hushed. "This place seems a little rich, for our blood."

Looking around momentarily, Caleb's brow furrowed before he realized, "Right, uh." Trying to find the correct wording, Caleb's whole face pinched at the effort. "We can afford this."

".... What exactly did you guys get up to while I was gone?" Molly teased with faux suspicion, though the look that Caleb gave him was pointed. "What? Was it really that bad?"

"Let us leave it at 'there are many places we are not welcome back to'," Caleb said, beginning to head towards the stairs. Beau and Nott were already at the bar, and Caduceus was ahead of them to get to his own room while Jester tried to convince Fjord to dance.

Molly followed. While he was desperate to hear more stories of what weird adventures had been had in his absence, there were more pressing matters to focus on. He waited patiently for Caleb to unlock the door, and tried not to fidget in place when the wizard removed his coat, only to be left in a stained undershirt and a set of book holsters. The sight of them worked a smile onto Molly's face, but his friend soon noticed that he wasn't leaving the space just inside the doorway. "Molly?"

"Caleb," He countered habitually, before wanting to sigh at himself. _Focus_. "Do you... mind if we have a quick chat?"

"That is not a good statement to hear," Caleb responded honestly, frowning as he quickened the pace on setting his jacket on one of the beds. "Is something wrong?"

"No! Not- Not technically, uh-" Fuck. _Fuck_. How had Jester made it sound so damn simple? Right now, Caleb was turned to look at him wearing a look of concern, and Molly was standing there twiddling his thumbs as if it could avoid the inevitable.

He could do that, really; Avoid it. He could go forever without ever acting on the object of his affections, something that he was still trying to wrap his head around. Sure, sex was one thing, but it was usually just a way to have fun or unwind. But Caleb- He was _Caleb_. He was a terribly awkward, enigmatic, hilariously weird bookish nerd who was probably more powerful than the sun was bright and had a great destiny that he was carving a path to. Anyone with half a brain could see that Caleb was something special, something rare, _something_.

It made Molly flounder. There was still so much he had to see, had to learn, wanted to explore, and with the entire world on the list, Caleb took spot number one by a mile.

The idea of never saying anything, when he knew that there were exactly two people who were both out of their depths on this, felt like ash on his tongue.

Caleb was still looking at him, but when Molly went to open his mouth all that came out was a stuttering bit of gibberish. It was _Infernal_ , he was so tense.  
Flirting when he'd assumed it would never be reciprocated was easy as breathing. Now that he had an individualized, rapt audience of one, he wished he could disappear.

Why had he done this?

"Come again?" Caleb asked cautiously, sitting on the edge of the bed and wearing a vexed expression.

What were the pros of telling him?

What were the cons?

_Just kiss him._

For a man who had died at least twice, Molly felt like he should be more brave. But Caleb was waiting, damn it, and he was going to do something. "I want to know, if this is something you want," Molly finally said, and that just made Caleb look even more lost.

"Want what?" He ventured, and Molly took in a deep breath to steel himself.

"Do you want something....." Motioning between them, he could feel Yasha mocking his lack of finesse from a thousand miles away, "Between us?"

The room fell deathly still. It took a total of ten seconds before Caleb's brow pinched sharply, gaze flicking to glare at the door, "Beauregard had no right saying _anything_ about-"

The idea of Beau taking the blame on Molly being sneaky was quite enticing, but he waved his hands, "She didn't tell me, I was awake."

"You were what?" Caleb said, looking back at Molly.

"Awake, I- I was awake. This morning."

"The whole morning."

"Most of it."

"What- What, uh, what did you- Did you hear?" Pale skin turned pink as Caleb's anger melted into muted horror, hands twisting together on his lap. He was staring up at Molly as if the man had threatened something precious to him, and for a delirious moment Molly couldn't help but feel the same.

The very air was fragile, and either of them could shatter it if they spoke too fast.

"Everything," Molly admitted softly, before squaring his shoulders. "I heard it all. So I need to know; Do you want something here? Yes, or no?"

"...... Is this why we ended up sharing a room?" Caleb asked suspiciously, and Molly waved a hand as he rolled his eyes.

"That is not the point, just- Focus, please?" Molly looked as anxious as he felt, fingers tangling in front of him. In return, Caleb's expression flashed with guilt, the wizard nodding a little.

"It..... It is not so easy," Caleb started, looking almost pained to say it, "And you know it. Romance has no place in our journeys, there are too many risks." 

"Risks?" Scoffing at the word, Molly tried to ignore the bone deep hurt of the casual start to rejection. "Waking up in our lives is a risk. Every town we stop in, every job we do, every fate we chase, _all_ of it is a risk. Why is this the place to draw the line?"

"Because this is different," Caleb said sharply, brows furrowing as he looked up, "If we were involved, I would not focus properly in a battle. The goals I have set, the path I am on, I never planned for there to be a person to protect."

"I don't need protection, I'd be by your side," Molly snipped, feeling oddly offended by the insinuation, "I know I'm not as strong as you lot anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't get stronger. Only viewing me as a liability instead of a companion-"

"It is not viewing you as a liability, Mollymauk, it is viewing you as someone I cannot stand to lose. You are a great fighter, that I am not doubting. Yet if I saw you in harms way, I would not hesitate to take your place." He looked woeful as he said it, and Molly knew he meant it. Hell, that's what they'd been arguing over a mere day ago, but still Caleb's gaze began to look far off. "You have no idea of my past, of what I have done. Of the people I have already managed not to protect. I do not deserve forgiveness for it, nor do I deserve the comfort of a partner. I could not stand to let you get killed, not again, especually if it were my cowardice."

"... I may not know your past, but it also doesn't define you anymore the way you t-"

"It does," he said with vindication, shame seeming to fill him and up to tainting the very air around him. "I have failed so many people, done damage that can never be forgiven, and.... Against my own volition, to boot."

"Do you think that would happen with us? The Nein? With _me_?" Leaning against the wall he was standing near, Molly didn't look offended, more curious. "The life you led, is it so close to this one that there's a real chance of lapsing back under an outside forces control?"

"....... I don't know." Admitting it felt like swallowing lead, and Caleb's voice cracked near the end of it. When he looked up, it was a helpless expression. "I had thought I was doing the right thing then, and ruined my whole world. What if I don't know if it happens again? We shouldn't pursue this."

"Caleb-" Swallowing the lump in his throat, Molly pushed off the wall, trailing close and moving to sit down on the edge of the bed next to him. The wizard didn't so much as twitch, and the two lapsed in silence as Molly fought to find the right words. Instead, the two quietly sat for a moment before Caleb almost jumped out of his own skin when Molly reached and gently took his hand. 

It wasn't a romantic gesture by any means, but it's intention was clear. Caleb remembered (of course he remembered) how much a simple bit of contact had helped Molly last night, when his brain wouldn't stop running. The carnival man wasn't king at comfort, they all knew that, but him offering what he could had the gingers chest loosening. 

He wasn't good at comfort either, yet he could recognize that awkward line that was drawn in the sand that Molly was reaching over to pull him back from. 

"You aren't locked into any of this," Molly reminded, squeezing his hand softly, "You can leave this group whenever you want. If anything ever happened with us, you could change your mind and you're free as a bird. You are the one in control here, you are the one making the choices. If you decide to up and leave for a reason I don't get, then I'll make sure your bag is packed for you. If you choose to disappear in the middle of the night with Nott by your side, the world will keep turning.

"That isn't to say I wouldn't be upset, but I'm not going to pretend I know what is going on up there." Nodding towards Caleb's head, Molly's mouth pulled into a small and sad smile. "You've said no, and I get that. But if you're simply doing it under the qualms of my protection, I have managed to get myself killed twice just fine without your interference." Caleb looked straight up affronted at that, turning to snap at Molly before noticing that his smile was wider. 

It didn't quite meet his eye, and was reminiscent of the look he had when they first met. Caleb hated it, to look up and not seeing that usual hint of suppressed excitement. Instead, he had that air of faux-confidence he used to, his resigned rejection peeking out from under the mask of salvaged pride. Caleb's very tongue burned in his mouth, the words falling out while trying to figure out how Molly could not see the danger of a coupling. "How do you not see that as further evidence? Of this being finite, of a relationship being easily broken?" 

"Because I'm right here. Again. If Death can't stop me from bothering you, what can?" Molly teased, giving a wink and offering Caleb's hand one last squeeze before pushing to stand. He opened his mouth to ask Caleb if he wanted to go downstairs, planning on inviting him down cordially. They would remain friends, of course, but that didn't stop Molly from wanting to drink his body weight in ale before talking to Jester about how to even attempt moving on.

Yet he was stopped, body jerking to a stand still.

His hand was still tightly in Caleb's grip, keeping him from leaving as Molly's head tipped to look back down at him. The wizard was looking up, brow furrowed and expression something akin to hopeful as he asked, "Is that a promise?" 

They both knew it wouldn't be, not truly. He had no control if he could come back to life a third time should he fall again, if he could save Caleb that pain. Yet that didn't stop Molly from wishing it could be, giving a small nod and answering, "Of course, Mr. Caleb." Upon saying it, his smile was soft, fingers slipping away before he aimed for the door. 

His hand was still reaching for the door handle when Caleb said, "Mr. Mollymauk," and sent his pulse off to the races. Looking over his shoulder, Molly lofted his brows and tried to quell his optimism as Caleb pushed to stand as well, having a hard time making eye contact. 

"The one and only," Molly responded on instinct, hand dropping back to his side before Caleb continued to walk closer. 

And closer. 

And closer still. 

Until the small of Molly's back was pressed against the door handle, chin tipping up in the perfect juxtaposition of the same pose he'd taken the night before. Though this time, it wasn't Caleb being mad it him and Molly standing his ground. This time, it was the wizard looking at him critically, a quiver happening in the corner of his mouth and worsening his frown momentarily while Molly tried not to swallow his tongue. 

_Just kiss him!_

Looking down at him, Molly felt mournful at the idea of never pursuing anything with this. If that was Caleb's choice, so be it, but. But Caleb was the one pinning him based off personal space, and that was rare. Eyes closing, he tipped forward at a snail's pace, giving Caleb plenty of time to avoid it, before his lips met the scruffy wizards feather light. 

It felt viscerally odd, to crave mere base affection from another person. Caleb wasn't pushing him away per say, but seemed to be frozen, as if he didn't expect the kiss when it came at him so obviously. 

Two seconds later of no response and Molly began to pull away respectfully, until a gentle hand curled around the back of his neck and kept him close. It had his muscles going limp, Molly leaning in further and nearly knocking Caleb back considering how stiffly he'd been standing. 

Lilac fingertips moved to cover a dirt and bandaged covered hand, winding around it to keep it in place as he soaked in the bit of sweetness from the chaste kiss. It didn't take long before his forehead tipped to meet Caleb's, both of them taking in sharp breaths when they separated. 

"That uh-" Caleb gave a small tittering exhale, nerves obvious in his voice. "Oh."

"Sorry, it-" Sighing through his nose, Molly pressed their foreheads impossibly closer for a moment, heart clenching painfully. Caleb thought this was a bad idea, and he'd respect that. He would. That didn't make him hate it less as he pulled back enough to look at him directly. "I had to know. I apologize."

Caleb's thumb shifted and dragged semi-mechanically on his cheek, vibrant eyes flicking to look over Molly's expression as he wore his confusion like a badge. "Don't," He said quietly, head tipping forward minutely as his eyes closed once more. Instead of pulling away fully, his other hand lifted and hovered, as if gauging a boundary that didn't really exist, before it settled over the cloth covering Molly's death scar.

"Don't?" Molly parroted, blinking twice.

"No apologies. You promised to come back should it happen again, ja?" Giving a half shrug, Caleb peeked an eye open, mouth turning up in a wry smile, "If you do not, I suppose I will simply have to find you myself."

Molly's expression went from vague hope to a brilliant grin, peacock tattoo crinkling in the corner of his eye from how wide his smile stretched as he scoffed. "Don't worry," He said, free hand covering Caleb's fingers and having to work not to get distracted by the wizard's softened expression, "I'll make it worth the wait."

-

By the time another moon had passed, the team had finally left the frozen hell of the surrounding area of Prides Call. They may have stolen from one of the largest traders in the empire, and Nott and Jester may have almost gotten them all caught with an ill timed disguise and a total lack of awareness for their surroundings, but they all lived.

Yasha had joined back up with them, and hugged Molly so tightly he was worried he may lose his head. The two clicked back into place with ease, Yasha now leaving the group more rarely and for shorter times.

Having his best friend back soothed a pain he hadn't realized was eating at him, and Molly could only be grateful.

When they were nearing Zadash once more, heading in for supplies and hoping to find a way to breech the Menagerie Coast without their pasts coming back to bite them, their cart was nearly upended by a volley of gnolls that had taken residence in the deep forest they were passing through. Nott was the first to sound the warning, and Beau had all but leapt off the cart to begin fighting back while Jester followed.

It took nearly half an hour, to defeat the small army that had tried to ambush them. By the end of it, Caleb was the only one who'd been knocked unconscious, with Fjord looking much worse for wear and Beau trying to wipe blood off from where it had sprayed around her eyes. Next to her, Yasha plucked a piece of viscera from the monk's hair, The Judge resting on her shoulder after cleaving several of the creatures in half. 

Caduceus was snagged by Nott, who tugged him to their injured team members and who he himself could use a word of greater healing. Sitting down, the firbolg took the time to begin healing the whole Nein, while Jester focused on Caleb to get him back up and standing.

The wizard groaned as he came back to consciousness, Jester's hand leaving his forehead and letting the spell taper off as he slowly sat up. He worked better at a distance, so getting mauled had been too rough for him to handle; His shoulder was still oozing red from several bite marks, and he had a sizable cut from a spearhead on his side.

When Molly limped over, with a mere bitten leg and no other injury, the tiefling held out a hand, Caleb taking it to haul himself to stand. "Good show," Molly complimented, leaning in to peck at his lips once before patting his side while Caleb began leaning on him.

Behind him, Fjord and Beau both exclaimed sharply, earning confused looks from both Molly and Caleb as the two looked back at them. "When did this happen?" Fjord asked, motioning between the two of them with lofted brows an open palm.

"Yeah what the fuck, you guys _kiss_?" Beau asked, looking back at Yasha for backup and instead receiving a sympathetic nod in return. Pausing, Beau really looked around. "Wait a second, were Fjord and I the only people that _didn't_ know about this?"

Molly and Caleb glanced between each other, though their amusement was poorly hidden. "Well, Jester was told by myself, as was Yasha," Molly admitted, seemingly indifferent.

"And Nott knew from me," Caleb said, giving a small shrug.

Several gazes flicked to Caduceus, but the firbolg was still doing a mass word of healing. "I mean. Neither of us told him, but I'm nearly sure Caduceus figured it out," Molly admitted, seeing Cad give a small thumbs up as his chant continued. "It's not like it was hidden information though. It's been four weeks, you two really didn't notice?"

Both Fjord and Beau seemed to think on it, but in the end they both shook their heads. "You've just seemed the same as usual," Fjord admitted, though he did seem slightly amused, "Which is tellin', in it's own right I suppose."

As the conversation continued, all of them seemed to be slowly healing. Caleb gave a sigh of relief as his shoulder finally closed back up fully, hand going up to cover where the wound was and getting a murmur of something unintelligible from Molly in return. Looking at them still, Beau rolled her eyes, "Well tone down on the PDA, then."

"The PDA you didn't notice for a month?" Jester asked, smile a tight curl of amusement as she sat back a little.

Jester began teasing Beau as Fjord interjected randomly, with Yasha setting her hand carefully on Beau's shoulder in a sign of solidarity. Nott joined in, only to defend being one of the first to hear about it, as Caduceus continued chanting while wearing a knowing grin.

Watching the slight pandemonium, Molly and Caleb shared a glance before Molly's mouth wobbled up into a grin. "You were right, this was more amusing than just telling them."

"I have my moments," Caleb agreed, his hold going from being one of support to a simple arm looped through Molly's.

The Nein continued bickering, all with looks of muted mirth as Molly and Caleb watched on from the sidelines.

It was good to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((And there it goes!!!!! Thank you guys so much for reading, it means so much that people commented, read and left kudos. I write in my free time and the amount of love that you guys poured out is just amazing. Thank you so so so much guys!!!!


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